Thou Shalt Not Covet

I once heard that the best things to posses are things that you aren't supposed to have. There is something about taking or wanting something totally forbidden that harks back to the time when Adam and Eve took a bite out of the “forbidden fruit” the very object that caused their fall from grace, and forced God to cast them out of the Garden of Eden.

What is it about wanting something we can't have that poses the biggest challenge or temptation of all? It sort of reminds you of the song Buses and Trains where the line goes: “I know they're bad for me, but I just can't leave them alone”. Hmm... I wonder.

I'm probably the Queen of coveting things that I can't have- like the Oleg Cassini (super expensive shoes) that my Mother warned me not to use, I used them anyway, and returned them all tattered and worn out, much to my Mother's sheer vexation. She still reminds me to this very day that I wrecked her very expensive shoes and I will never get to replace those babies unless I sell my soul to the Devil (sigh).

Here's another one- the time when I took a sip (uhem.. a shot of tequila, a hint of red wine, and chased it down with some champagne maybe.. ok, there was Red Horse involved, but who is counting?) knowing very well that my Mother frowns upon the idea of drinking (take note, I was 13) and well, Mother dragged my drunk rear end out of that party and I woke up the next day with a royally painful hangover coupled with a very stern and LOUD lecture from Mother.

There was also that time when I went out with a couple of guys who were way older than me, and well, I wasn't allowed to date or even look at a guy, but that didn't stop me. What did I get for my disobedience? I became horribly disenchanted by the male species, and one of them returned my heart which was tattered into pieces- well, at least I learned. By the way, that same person who did that, was the very person that I couldn't have, yet I silently wanted him for myself. It took years for him to come around (count em' 6 years) and well, by that time, I had allowed myself to botch my life up by wanting another thing that I knew was totally bad for me- the memory still makes me cringe, but at least I got out of that fiasco- somewhat unscathed.

But I digress, we are talking about forbidden things right? So here's my take on the subject, if you are curious enough to go on.

You know what's the most interesting thing to take, that could either be extremely exciting and dangerous at the same time? Stealing a kiss. You heard me. When you steal a kiss, it's either something a person wants or something that totally throws them off, which becomes painfully awkward if the latter applies. The former can lead to something utterly intriguing.

Brooke (from One Tree Hill) said that a kiss always means something, there is always a meaning or sentiment attached to every kiss- now how that is interpreted depends on both the giver and receiver. Be careful how you steal a kiss, and choose wisely where to plant a kiss...

Another thing, hmm... Stolen glances. Why is this forbidden? Back in the old days women where instructed to hide their faces behind veils or fans, and to cast their eyes downward as a sign of modesty. Men were prone to steal glances of their lady love as they walked by, and well, who knows how arduous / passionate that “glance” was (laugh) staring was considered rude, because it made people uncomfortable... AND the eyes will never betray what secrets the heart is trying to conceal. Ergo, making “goo goo” eyes (staring lovingly at someone) back then was taboo. That is why stealing a glance is forbidden and rather exhilarating.

Well, there are too many things considered forbidden these days- but we do live in a liberated world (some parts anyway) and it has become a free-for-all kind of phenomenon where almost every one (who are willing to try) can have a taste of the "forbidden fruits" out there.

I think, I honestly think... I started out too early (laugh) these days I'm a reformed brazen individual hahaha!

Old habits die hard though... wink

Pieces Of Me

Last night as I was assaulted yet again by the dreaded insomnia monster, the time was 3:00 am. I was lying in bed, doing absolutely nothing, slowly dying of ennui, wondering "What the heck am I going to do????"- then a thought occurred to me, I remembered an episode of America's Next Top Model wherein Tyra tasked the would-be top models to pose for a photo shoot and display certain sides of their personality. Again, I was completely bored out of my mind, so I thought, hmm... sounds like fun.

What exactly did I do? I had a mini photo shoot, my audience were my three shih tzu doggies: Shagee, Cupcake, & Oodie a.k.a Eastwood. There I was snapping photos of myself displaying certain sides of me that a few people have witnessed in real life. It felt extremely odd taking pictures of myself, since well, I was extremely camera shy and I'm slowly learning the ropes of being a total cam whore haha!

I'll be posting the pics SOON....

According to Gestalt Psychology, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Meaning, you have to know the person as a whole, not just the little tidbits of them, in order to truly understand them... Hence the title: Pieces of Me, which will also be the title of the album, when I upload the photos. I was told that I'm too private, I don't let people get a glimpse of the real girl, I was told that I hide behind a mask, forever concealing the person behind it...


So I suppose this little project of mine will serve as the unmasking of the girl...

Pieces of the girl...

I am a



Moody

Sweet fish lover


Frustrated Rocker Chic

Soon to be savior of the World


Savior of the Ocean


Savior of God's creatures



hmmm...

Need I say more???

I'm complicated ^___________^ figuring me out would be like finding the end of a labyrinth, there are times that you think you have figured me out, but you take another turn and discover that there's more to me than what meets the eye...

There are more twists and turns into the rather twisted and mysterious mind of this girl, so only the clever and strong willed will survive the treacherous journey of uncovering the secret that lies hidden behind the mask...

I dare anyone to take up the challenge

Wish List

Back in the day I used to stare out the window dreaming of Castles in the Sky, being the ever hapless damsel in distress (D.I.D) forever waiting to be saved by the handsome Prince. Yes, very pathetic, I know, but a girl can dream right? I have been dubbed "Miss Out Of This World" back in high school for my rather odd penchant for day dreaming, staring out the window with a bemused expression on my face, thinking about rather trivial and inane things rather than listening to my teachers droning about algebra and physics... Well, they weren't really trivial, I also thought about making the world a better place...

Over the years I have put together a list of sorts, things I have shoved back into the corner of my mind, things I wish I could have done or things I wish I could possess... Yes, it's very quintessential for a dreamer to keep tabs things like that, again, a girl can dream.

uhem... I won't mention, which of the things I crossed out of the list.

MUSHY things, that would probably make people cringe. Yes, I'm a romantic goob, deal with it!!!!

1. Kissing someone underneath the pouring rain.
2. To have someone draw a picture / portrait of me.
3. Receive rather nice letters, poetry or a good hallmark card. If he uses another language like... French, plus points.
4. Dancing to the song "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" under the moon and stars with someone hahahaha oooh on Christmas. Or slow dancing to any other song works as well.
5. To receive a puppy as a gift.
6. Mr. Right's name should start with either of the following letters: J,R,D or V- uh, I forgot the rest.
7. Get a huge, jaw dropping, heart melting surprise on my Birthday.
8. Have someone sing me my favorite song or a song he composed works too haha.
9. To talk till the wee hours in the morning.
10. Go to the beach to watch the sunset or sunrise- whichever.

Before I send the readers running to the hills with all this maudlin drivel, it has probably caused some of you to develop a brain hemorrhage... Okay, I'll stop. Enough about that...

STUFF I wish I'd get


1. Books, right now, I wanna get the book by Stephenie Meyer- Twilight. I'm a nut for books about vampires and rather eerie stuff, with a dash of romance...

2. Gummy Bears
3. Cookie from Butter Bean - Choco Loco.

4. Hersheys Kisses and M&M's

5. Gorgeous sandals


PLACES I wanna go

Paris


Italy


Hawaii


Euro Disneyland


Africa



PEOPLE I wanna meet

Johnny Depp

Oprah


Stuff I WANNA DO

Swim with a Great White Shark (in a cage of course) and Dolphins
Go Skinny Dipping (no pic for that haha) and Save the Ocean


Become a Vegan

As if.... wahahaha

Pose for a Nude portrait / painting or Photo Shoot wahahahaha (not kidding) what? I'm going to be all wrinkly someday. Uh... It'll be for my eyes only!!!! and maybe hmm....



Donate to charity or help people in need.


Touch the lives of others, change a person's life?

A Twist In Time

What if you had the power to change your life for the sake of love, and reverse the hands of time- would you take that chance? Would you use that power to steal the one you love from the person that they were truly meant to be with?

A few days ago, I watched Disney's Cinderella 3 A Twist In Time and well, the power to magically change time was used to alter the fairytale of Cinderella and Prince Charming- yes, it was rather distressing. The evil Stepmother, Lady Tremaine, was able to get her hands on the magic wand of the ever bubbly fairy God Mother and well, she bibidibobidi boo'd her way into changing the events.

Stepmother: Now, Cinderella, to undo your trickery and take what's rightfully ours. I call upon all the forces of the universe. Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo! Reverse the moon and sun, turn back tide and time, unravel Cinderella's happily ever after to the moment my troubles began!

Her evil plan was to rewind time to make Anastasia's (the step sister in pink) foot fit into the glass slipper. Why??? It's a no-brainer, naturally by royal decree, whoever got her foot to fit into the glass slipper (by the way, the infamous fragile footwear is a size four and a half) gets to marry the Prince (by the way, he doesn't have a name, he's just called "Prince Charming" isn't that sad?).

So there, Anastasia is over the moon with the idea that she will get to marry the Prince. The poor girl is craving for a taste of finding her true love, and well, the love of a Prince was absolutely wonderful. Our poor Prince Charming for the most part of the film, developed a huge case of amnesia and believed that his "True Love" was Anastasia.

What about Cinderella you ask?

Well, you just have to hand it to her, she put up a pretty good fight. In her heart she knew that the Prince would not forget her, so she goes to the Castle to try to jog his memory, but the poor guy was under some really evil joo joo. Confussion knits at Cinderella's brow as she speaks to him and he looks at her as if he honestly didn't know her (again, the dude was under a spell) more's the pity when he mentions that he was marrying Anastasia... Albeit a little shocked by the whole thing, Cinderella is determined to break the spell...

There's a scene where the Prince had to dance with Anastasia.

In a conversation he had with his father (quote below)

King: You think there's only one woman in the whole kingdom who wears a size four and half?
Prince Charming: It's all I have to go on here.

He mentioned that he knew it was love the moment he touched the the girl 's hand at the ball as they danced the night away. Convinced that the person in front of him (Anastasia) was that same girl, the music played and the moment he takes her hand, he pauses... but the rather awkward dance continues...

In a failed attemp to steal the magic wand from her Step Mother, Cinderella is captured by the Palace guards, but before she is dragged outside, she reaches over to touch Prince Charming's hand and as she leaves the Palace, he becomes rather confused by the odd feeling that her touch evoked...

This is when the mice- Jaq and Gus come in to rescue Cinderella by performing a rather interesting song number for the Prince.

Prince Charming: So your say I'm under a magic spell.
Jaq: And here's the worse part.
Jaq: When cinderelly tried her best to take a stand.
Gus: Take a stand.
Jaq: Mean old lady had her banished from the land.

Let's just say Prince Charming has a major epiphany and goes to chase Cinderella before her ship sails, but before that, he tells his Father that 2 mice told him that he was under a spell and that the intruder that was being sent away, was really his true love. His Father thinks that he has gone completely coo coo and tries to stop him, but well, he's Prince Charming no one can stop him...

Atop his white steed, he races off to save Cinderella. Uhem.. I must say, the way Prince Charming flew off (literally, he sort of whoooshed off his horse and landed on the boat, it was sooooooooo dreamy) he finds Cinderella...

Prince Charming: Will you marry me Cinderelly?
Cinderella: [giggling] Actually, it's Cinderella.

Emmm... it didn't end there. You see, as Cinderella was changing for the wedding, Step Mother arrives with... gasp! Anastasia, but it wasn't Anastasia!!!! She was magically turned into a Cinderella look alike. Cinderella is aghast and asks her why she would do such a thing.

Anastasia: I want to have, what you have...

Well, Cinderella was then zapped into a pumpkin carriage and the driver was the evil cat Lucifer... bla bla... she escapes and arrives to stop the wedding...

This is when Anastasia realizes that she can't live a lie hoping to receive love from someone who does not truly love her...

When the question: Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband came up, she answers: I don't, which sent her mother into a blind rage.

Stepmother: You spoiled little ingrate I've given you everything you've ever wanted Anastasia.
Anastasia: But I want someone to love me for me....

The King orders the guards to arrest the evil woman, but she then proceeds to turn the guards into animals. She was about to turn Cinderella into a toad when the Prince used his sword to block the magic, and it backfired on evil Step Mother and Drizella (step sister in green).

Long story short people, Cinderella still gets to live happily ever after with Prince Charming...

Hmmm... what have we learned? True love conquers all AND... True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. You can't coerce, hint, lie, cheat, and use black magic (or whatever ) to get your way into a person's heart. You can't force someone to love you as much as you want and hope for them to come around... According to the King:

King: Everybody deserves true love.

Some of us just don't know what's right in front of us, perhaps we do, but we don't acknowledge it, or we sadly take it for granted. Some of us have the blessing of finding the right person, but we don't allow ourselves to truly love that person, we hold things back, and end up losing them. Some of us, fall for the wrong person, and realize our error when it's already too late to change things, and we watch the right person drift out of our life like a beautiful dream that we can't hold on to.
That's life I suppose, and in real life, we can't steal magic wands to correct our gaffes... We all deserve true love, the problem is, some of us are too scared to possess it, too selfish, and well, some hold on to the delusion that what they have is true love, or just plain love for that matter, when it really is not...

What is true love anyway? Is it even real? or is it just something that we read in story books? In real life, we do the best we can to have our own happy endings or something close to a "Happily Ever After"... We write our own stories, we make mistakes, our hearts get broken, but here's the silver lining , what heals us and what keeps us hoping that by some amazing twist of fate we end up with the right person who makes us believe that in this crazy world filled with rather gruesome realities we get to live a fairy tale in every moment spent in their company... It's not a guarantee of Happily Ever After, but hey, True love stories never have endings.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A GOOD Girl Scorned

Nobody messes with a bad girl because well, you KNOW what they can do... But have you heard of the saying - hmm... I'm sure you haven't, since I'm about to coin it...

Nobody should mess with a good girl because well, you have NO IDEA what they can do, & people will never suspect or entertain the notion that these girls are capable of doing the most devious things, after all, they are good girls... (wink)

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID

Watching a good girl turn bad, is quite amazing to see. Akin to watching an awesome thriller where your sweet next door neighbor, the one who bakes cookies and smiles all the time, turns out to be the neighborhood serial killer who chops people into pieces & buries them in the backyard...

To borrow a scene from Sweeney Todd- It's like going to your barber to get a good snip here and there, perhaps a shave and well, you get a closer shave than what you expected, meaning- you get your neck slashed open and you end up DEAD. What's the secret ingredient to Mrs. Lovett's pies, you ask? A dash of vengeance dished out by our scorned good guy Benjamin Barker a.k.a Sweeney Todd, add a little hint of blood and gore... send it in the oven for a good thirty minutes and you get a pretty good pie... A human pie...

We have a scorned good girl people, & she is out for blood. Who knew she had it in her? NOBODY!!! Nobody knew that she has instinct for such utter deviousness, it makes you want to stand up and clap for her... This is what makes our story a bloody dark comedy or a tragedy- depending on how this will end. Hand her a skull & aim the spotlight on her to hear her elocution of William Shakespeare's To be, or not to be From Hamlet...

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream:ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come..."


Hmm...

Just like our dashing and valiant Harvey Dent (From the movie: The Dark Knight) the passionate
man of Gotham who sadly fell to the wrong side of the law (another case of good guy gone bad) our
girl would want to borrow  a rather interesting quote from the movie as stated by Harvey:

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villian..."

Hmm... I guess our girl would rather not be the hero anymore  (wink)

You see, one day something cracked inside our girl's head, or heart, whatever! and after that
a rage that was never seen in this world bubbled inside of her, and continued to gnaw at her
inside till she just had to take it out on the very object responsible for her fall from grace...

The force was strong in our good girl & gasp! much like Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) she has fallen
to the Dark Side of the force...

Channeling Yoda: "Doomed, all of us are... Run away, you must..."

Our good girl sleeps, and in her dreams she is hunting for justice! and perhaps... REVENGE.

"Come out come out where ever you are... I can hear your heart beating. Once, I get my hands on 
it everyone will hear the eerie sound of SILENCE..."

It would be a cold day in hell before the magma of her fury will cease & until then... No living creature
will be spared.

Beware the good girl with the sweet smile, she may appear totally harmless, but once scorned, you'll
never know what she's going to do... and you'll never know if your scared and shallow breath as you stare at
her fiery eyes will be your last...

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one staying put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

No, we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Johanna
No I'll never hug my girl to me - finished!
Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengeance.
I will have salvation.
Who sir, you sir?
No ones in the chair, Come on! Come on!
Sweeney's. waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen now don't be shy!

Not one man, no, nor ten men.
Nor a hundred can assuage me.
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

Borrowed Time

I made a poem years ago circa 2003, but before we get to that allow me to explain the history of this infamous poem. You see, I was in love OR I deluded myself that I was "in love" with this person (who will forever be nameless). Hmm... I had an idiotic crush on him when I was 10 and it ballooned into something akin to obsession (Crazy, I know). Anyway this dude was in love with somebody else - or at least one of his flavor of the month type girls (OUCH) hence the emotional outpouring of pain via poetry- my one true outlet other than just writing. So, the poem that I created was a projection of my feelings for him, this poem is sort of a "What if" scenario. What if we had this strange Freaky Friday moment and we switched bodies or something like that- and I became the guy who was in love with the girl who happened to be in love with someone else... what would I feel????

She smiles at me
"It's rude to stare" I tell myself.
It hit me one day, this crazy feeling was something else.
We call each other friends, but deep inside I knew,
Each time I looked at her, I thought:
"I'm in love with you"
It hit me, this crazy feeling, and I was at a loss,
It was strange, how it happened,
"This is crazy" I thought.
It seemed so natural, how she won over my heart, but then,
Dare I admit it, I was a goner right from the start.
Her laugh bewitches me, what a beautiful sound,
That melodious symphony echoes in my head whenever she's not around.
Her eyes like to stars that twinkle when she smiles,
Sweet yet strangely alluring,
This is crazy, this can't be happening...
SIGH
I can't seem to escape her, even as I close my eyes at night,
There she is in my dreams... This is not right.
She looks at me wondering what is on my mind,
Dare I tell her how I feel?
Or should I prudently keep it inside?
She laughs, and it is my undoing,
I can't pretend that I don't want to grab her and silence the merry sound with a kiss,
Who am I foooling? I look into her beautiful eyes and think: "I can't go on like this".
God help me this is wrong, she doesn't seem to have a clue.
I look at her and think:
"I'm in love with you"
She has me under her spell, and she doesn't even know,
I can't tell her how I feel,
Why does this feeling torment me so?
I can't be the one who gets to kiss her,
What sheer pain,
I have to stop this, it's driving me insane.
I'm only with her on borrowed time, and every time I am with her
My treacherous heart commits the most heinous crimes.
I remind myself that I should not think that she feels the same,
Oh why, oh why can't this feeling be tamed?
"Snap out of it man! - Run while you still can" my mind says.
"Whatever for?" I ask,
It answers, "She's not yours"
Aahh my heart lurches at that very fact,
I may love her, but will she ever love me back?
SIGH
Her smiles? not mine, her laugh? not mine
her kisses, not mine,
The girl? Definitely not mine.
I long to tell her how I feel, but I don't have that right...
God, how I envy him...
The lucky guy who gets to call her "mine"

One Tree Hill Moments

Have you ever had a dream that seemed so real, when you woke up you didn't know what to believe? What would you do if what you thought was true wasn't? And what you thought wasn't true was? Would you retreat into your dreams with the hope of finding a more perfect reality? Sometimes life is stranger than a dream. And the only way to wake up is to face what lies hidden in your soul. And you can only hope that in those moments of dark reflection, that you are not alone.

PEYTON: I want to kiss you, Luke. I do. I just don't want to lose you.
LUCAS: Hey, what makes you think you're gonna lose me?
PEYTON: Only the fact that I lose everyone I care about. Anytime I open up to someone, they walk out of my life, or they die. Or they move away or they get shipped off to Iraq or they turn into frickin' Norman Bates or...
LUCAS: Not everyone.
PEYTON: Look, the last time we kissed, you had a heart attack.
LUCAS: And I didn't die. I couldn't die. Do you know why? Because I had to come back and look into those green eyes of yours and tell you I love you. I do. I love you, Peyton. You didn't push me away. I came back for you. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while, people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And beyond heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

JAKE: You said "I love you."
PEYTON: Okay, well, normally, that's a good thing.
JAKE: You said "I love you, Lucas."

PEYTON: I think I still have feelings for Lucas.
BROOKE: You mean you care for him as a friend?
PEYTON: No. I mean more than that.



PEYTON: So, this is how it ends. A 10-year friendship that survived two dead moms, three absentee parents, shoplifting, jail time, and we can't survive one boy?
BROOKE: Not one boy, Peyton. My boy.

PEYTON: I didn't want it this way, okay? I tried tears. I tried apologizing to you. I cried, and you know what you did? You slapped me, and you blew me off.
BROOKE: You're gonna be lucky if next time I don't use my fist.
PEYTON: I can't believe you're supposed to be the maid of honor. And by the way, none of those words were "yes, Peyton, I love him."



BROOKE (to Lucas): A kiss always means something.

LUCAS: Is it impossible for you to forgive me? I forgave you.
BROOKE: For what?
LUCAS: For sleeping with Chris Keller.
BROOKE: And you know what, Lucas? I loved you for that. You had such grace in that moment that I fell in love with you all over again. I can't believe that you would use it now as a bargaining chip.

LUCAS: I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. But part of me feels like ever since we got back together, you've just been waiting... waiting to push me away.
BROOKE: Oh, great. You kiss Peyton, again, and I'm pushing you away! God!

LUCAS: I love you, Brooke. I don't know how else to say it.
BROOKE: How about how you show it? I am not pushing you away, Lucas. I am holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back. Okay, why wouldn't you tell me about the kiss? And why didn't you call me while you were away? And why won't you ever just let me all the way in? We have to go and give our toasts now. About love.


BROOKE: You asked me earlier today if I love Lucas, and I have your answer. But you don't deserve to hear it.
PEYTON: Brooke...
BROOKE: No. I want you to understand something. As far as I am concerned, this friendship is over. And if we never speak again for the rest of our lives, that'll be fine. I gave you a second chance, Peyton, and you blew it.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a kingdom far, far away. And in that kingdom, there also lived a boy, and the princess loved that boy. And so the two decided to marry.In the end, the love between the princess and the boy was undeniable and true. And over time, that love would see them through anything. Magical things happened to them, things they couldn't explain, much like love itself. And like most fairy tales, the princess and the boy lived happily ever after.

HALEY: Nathan, it's been said that there's one word that will free us from the weight and the pain of life, and that word is love. And I believe that. That doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard or that it won't be. It just means that I found a stillness and a bravery in myself with you. You make me brave, and I will love you until the end of time. This I vow today.

NATHAN: Last year, we stood on a beach and I told you how much I loved you and how I would always, always protect you. That day nobody believed that this would work. But I don't think anybody understood the love that I had for you. Because if they did, they would have never doubted us. So I wanted to marry you all over again in front of most of our world because today, when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. It's even stronger now. And our love will never waver. And this I vow to you today, and always, and forever.

HALEY JAMES SCOTT - Halo

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there’d be sunshine every day
I’ll give you everything I have
The good the bad
Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I’m so up high that I can’t see the ground below
So help me down you’ve got it wrong
I don’t belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here you wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Oh I, I just want to love you

I always said that I would make mistakes
I’m only human and that’s my saving grace
I’ll fall as hard as I try so don’t be blinded
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
So pull me from that pedestal
I don’t belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here you wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Oh I, I just want to love you

Like to think that you know me
But in your eyes I am something above me
That's only in your mind
Only in your mind

I wear a
I wear a
I wear a Halo

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here you wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Oh I, I just want to love you

Hey Hey... Halo...

LUCAS: Tell me about a good day
PEYTON: We had a snow day. 6th grade, do you remember? It was like this whole other world just came in overnight and took ours away. And Brooke, she came over we made a snow fort with a tunnel. And we stayed inside there all day. And it seemed so safe, like everything was okay. Like everything out world was about to become maybe we could just stop it and stay little kids for one more day. But then it got cold kinda like now. They’re gonna come now.
LUCAS: Who?
PEYTON: All of them. The reporters and the psychologists and the analysists and the so called experts. And they are gonna try to make sense of this. But they’re not going to be able to. And even if we do make it out of here we’re always gonna carry it with us. It’s never gonna be the same. It’s not glass, is it? In my leg.
LUCAS: No, it’s a bullet. Now I may have to get you out of here, ok? But nothing will happen to you. I promise.
PEYTON: You’re always saving me.
LUCAS: Somebody’s got to.
PEYTON: If I say I love you right now will you hold it against me? ‘Cause I’ve lost a lot of blood.

PEYTON (after kissing Lucas): Just in case you can't keep your promise.

Paparazzi put my business in the news

In The Words of Fergie:

The Grey Goose got your girl feeling loose
Now I’m wishing that I didn’t wear these shoes (I hate heels)
It’s like every time I get up on the dude
Paparazzi put my business in the news
And I’m like get up out my face (oh, shit)
‘fore I turn around and spray your ass with mace (oh, shit)
My lips make you wanna have a taste (oh, shit)
You got that? I got the bass (Uh)

Cameron Diaz Sues Tabloid Over 'Caught Cheating' Article

By Chris Harris (MTV.com)

A National Enquirer cover story claiming that Cameron Diaz was cheating on longtime squeeze Justin Timberlake -- suggesting the actress was romantically involved with one of the producers behind her MTV reality series Trippin' could cost the supermarket tabloid more than $60 million.

According to Los Angeles Superior Court documents obtained by Celebrity Justice, attorneys for both Diaz and Trippin' producer Shane Nickerson filed a joint lawsuit on Wednesday, accusing the Enquirer of slander, libel and intentional and negligent infliction of emotional stress.

The suit seeks at least $60 million in damages -- that's $30 million apiece for both Diaz and Nickerson -- for the article that ran late last month. According to court documents, the suit claims that the published story has not only damaged both of their reputations, but also placed needless strains on their personal relationships: Diaz with Timberlake, and Nickerson with his wife and mother-in-law.

The tabloid ran 25 grainy photos -- shot by paparazzi Oscar Duran -- of Diaz and Nickerson, some of which depicted the two hugging. The pictures were accompanied by an article titled "Cameron Caught Cheating," as well as several captions insinuating that the two were seen locking lips and "making out big time." The piece further accuses Diaz and Nickerson of carrying on an adulterous affair, and provides supposed eyewitness accounts to support the claims.

Source: http://www.mtvasia.com/News/200506/03009248.html

I can tell that you're watching me
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see
Well I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy


Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
Like I wanna do


I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

In the world that we live in, who can we trust really? I never realized that we lived in a gigantic fish bowl, or at least, each of us live on our own little fishbowl- and what do you do when you have your very own fishbowl? You look at your fish of course, you feed them, watch them swim back an forth... There's nothing much to see really, just fish swimming around minding their own business. But if you live in a human fishbowl- life is not as simple as the goldfish, you see, while scientist claim that goldfish have a memory span of up to three months, humans can store loads and loads of memories- years of it... In short, humans are rather incredible beings, but there are times that their brains revert to its primitive and juvenile state.

Humans often love to observe other humans in their fishbowl or “human bowl” and dissect everything about what they see or happen to find unsatisfactory with the person in question, from their: appearance, they way they dress, how much money they make, their families, the friends they hang out with, the food they eat, the people they date, the jobs they have etc. etc.

In a rather perverse way, we feel some strange sort of satisfaction over the flaws, oddities, and mishaps of other people- it somehow boosts our egos or whatever that, that particular human being is flawed, and well- screwed up. Human nature? What a sad race we are indeed.

Here we go:

Oh my gosh! (insert name) is fat, Did you know that (insert name) broke up with (insert name), (insert name) isn't pretty after all... bla bla bla

I can't say that I'm a paragon of society, that I never took part in that bizarre human ritual- I have, but I empathize with the people who become victim to the rather shallow scrutiny of others. My heart goes out to the people who become prey to the spite and gratuitous malice of others.

My teacher told me that we live in a cruel world, the real world is tough... Wow, I never really knew she was right. It is quite lamentable to have to deal with that fact, but then, I can't deny nor can I contest it at all.

It has become quite a sport for some actually, that well, it has become a means of acquiring money. Here's a fun example:

Jennifer Aniston Sues Over Topless Photos

- 'No' to paparazzi

By: Simona Gherman, Entertainment Editor

It is the second time Jennifer Aniston is suing a paparazzo. The actress said photographer Peter Brandt invaded her privacy

by using a telephoto lens to capture images when she was topless or partly undressed, in her home.

The actress' lawyers say the photos "could have been taken only by means of trespass", "from a great distance through invasive, intrusive and unlawful measures".

The paparazzo, who has many times published celebs images in People magazine and the New York Post, wasn't available for comments.

Topless pictures of the actress had been taken in the past by another paparazzo, who scaled a neighbor’s wall and photographed Jennifer sunbathing topless in her backyard.
Aniston is determined to prevent any other intruder from making money out of the images.

source: http://news.softpedia.com/news/Jennifer-Aniston-Sues-Over-Topless-Photos-14272.shtml

That's Hollywood for you right? everything is about getting the Benjamin Franklins, the Green, the Dollar Bills... To the point that they harass and provoke a celebrity to the breaking point. Here's a sad example: Princess Diana's death (though the real cause of the accident has been sketchy) it was mentioned that the paparazzi had a hand in it, but well, it's been a huge conspiracy theory.


Alas! It doesn't only happen in the star filled land of Hollywood people, like I said, we all have our own fishbowls and sadly, other people just love to toss rocks into our bowls just to watch us squirm or hmm... get our water dirty...

tsk tsk...

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb

What a pitiful and hapless race indeed, Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. Hmm... what tiny minds people, shame!

In the words of George Bancroft: Truth is not exciting enough to those who depend on the characters and lives of their neighbors for all their amusement.

If we were trees - Some people just love to cut us down, perhaps because they hate the idea of watching us growing in the sunlight and basking in it's rays, and it's quite a thrill for them to cut us down, finding pleasure in the sight of us falling...

Quel dommage!

Gossip is always a personal confession either of malice or imbecility.
Josiah Gilbert Holland

On a rather impertinent note:

Back in College some genius decided to spread a rumor about me, and as appalling as it seemed, I had to laugh.

Now hear this.

You can start a rumor about me, feel free to do so, just bear in mind that the moment tongues wag- meaning you have started the game... be careful of your words, for they may be your last.

I'm my Mother's spawn after all, and people... you don't trifle with us and come out unscathed or hmm... breathing...