Desperately Seeking Solace

I don't know what to do anymore.

An aching sensation fills my chest and futilely I rub it, hoping for the sensation to fade, it does not. It seems to ripple within, causing my insides to churn along with the excruciating feeling.

I'm searching for a presence, groping for a hand to hold, something that will give me the relief that I need and free me from this unending pain.

I feel lost.

Walking aimlessly, headed nowhere, searching for something, someone, both of which I cannot identify.

At the end of the day I'm alone.

I've managed to save myself. I fought battles, weathered through moments of sturm und drang (storm and stress). I mended my own aches and pains, eschewing any assistance from others - I'm a veritable champion of self-healing.

But I do have my weak moments, moments wherein I lose whatever strength I have managed to acquire. I lose my steely exterior. The impenetrable fortress that guards my heart is reduced into a pile of rubble. I am exposed, vulnerable.

These are the moments that I need someone to be the champion, my champion. These are the moments that I abhor, because I can't seem to be able to mend the seams of my life when it has come undone.

Strength.

I need to feel that from somebody other than myself. I need that presence to envelope me and for that feeling of "comfort" to permeate my soul.

Home.

I crave to be wrapped around the feeling of home. A place where I belong. A place where I can run to and feel safe, protected, cared for, loved.

This seems to elude me. Whatever form of comfort I receive; feels fleeting, temporary, slipping from my fingers long before I get to hold on to the feeling.

The aching sensation grows day after day, and I lose a part of myself along with it.

I can't take this feeling anymore, I want to stop feeling altogether.

Drunken Epiphany

I’ve walked a straight line all my life, well, I’ve managed to walk a couple crooked steps, but essentially, I’ve followed a straight path. I broke very few rules, kept to myself and eschewed the type of social activities that seem to be the norm for most of my peers. Yes, I admit is it sometimes a pitiful feeling, hearing about your friends’ adventures. What constitutes, as an adventure for me would be reading two books in one sitting, that’s as far as it goes for this hapless individual that I have managed to become.

I sometimes feel like Quasimodo (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) trapped high up in the bell tower looking down at everyone, pining to live a day of freedom among them.
Quasimodo
Safe behind these windows and these parapets of stone
Gazing at the people down below me
All my life I watch them as I hide up here alone
Hungry for the histories they show me
All my life I memorize their faces
Knowing them as they will never know me
All my life I wonder how it feels to pass a day
Not above them
But part of them

And out there
Living in the sun
Give me one day out there
All I ask is one
To hold forever

Out there
Where they all live unaware
What I'd give
What I'd dare
Just to live one day out there

I don’t ask for much. Perhaps to have a day or more spent away from home unencumbered by the presence of the people who vex me, sans the inundation of my parents and sibling’s voices. I find it pitiful that I feel like I’m still in high school. Even then, my friends still enjoyed a lot more luxuries of teenage life than I did – owing to the fact that I was perpetually under house arrest, forbidden to go out and LIVE.

Perhaps I may be exaggerating a bit, my parents did not keep me as their prisoner, albeit it felt that way sometimes. They did allow me to go out, stretch my legs as it were, but I always held with me the feeling that even with the little concessions they offered me, I still felt trapped.

Yesterday my friends who have patiently stood by me for years and years, thought to kidnap me as prompted by some indirect call of distress. But before I get to that, allow me to explain – when I said they were my friends for years and years its means we’ve been together probably since the 4th grade, High school and most of my College life. It was a time wherein I spent a lot of moments by making up excuses for my absence during important group outings. It wasn’t for lack of trying, as I have hinted a few sentences back; my parents have me on a very tight leash.

Truthfully I do hold a great deal of guilt over my lack of participation. I also feel envious that they got to do things, things that I would never normally be allowed to do – like, I don’t know, go home late, have sleepovers – Be a teenager or at present, an adult. I honestly think that I missed out on being a teenager and yes, greatly deprived of a proper life as an adult. Anyway, I have the fortune or misfortune of having a family who coddles me to death. Having extremely patient and understanding friends is an added boon. I can’t say there isn’t a person in this world who is free from domestic problems, and I’m sure each person will state that their family places the word “dysfunction” in dysfunctional – but my family really makes the Simpsons seem pleasant.

I won’t prattle on about my family dramas, but concisely I will tell you that it has taken a great chunk of my sanity away. It’s hard to keep one’s compos mentis when you are around a bunch of loonies who love to argue about matters that will most likely send anybody running to their shrink’s couch – yes, I’ve considered going through therapy.

Over the years the drama has not abated and according to The Joker (from The Dark Knight) “What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger”. Yes, that’s me a regular nut job.

Anyway, yesterday my friends ambushed me at my place of work. “We’re kidnapping you.” they told me. First on the docket of activities, drowning in our sorrows and later that night, we drowned in alcohol as well. It seemed only yesterday that we sat together in our school cafeteria bemoaning our plights over being single, dishing out the latest drama in our lives, and sharing the foibles of youth. Appropriately, yesterday we did the same thing, but as we have grown older, it seems our problems have evolved as well.

Crying over broken hearts and broken dreams never gets old. The four of us, or at least 3 of us participated, while the odd one out listened. Said member has always been a mystery to us, she will forever be our cheerful friend, while the rest of us will be the ever-constant bearers of drama. Drama girl one: the once idealistic friend whose dark side emerged as a result of a broken heart. Drama girl two: the mother hen of the group who has the predilection to offer the most brutally frank comments, and she sometimes reminds me of my over-controlling mother. Drama girl 3 (that’s me): the pampered princess of the group, known for her black moods and penchant for temper tantrums over her complicated life.

Like the classy clique of Sex And The City, the four of us sat together and ate dinner. Talking, arguing, laughing, poking fun at each other’s crazy moments and idiosyncrasies, tears were thrown in the mix (for one member) – which turned to laughter. It was an interesting night. It got interesting after a couple of drinks. At exactly 12 midnight, the mother hen, the cheerful mommy, the dispirited dreamer, and the pampered princess decided to adjourn the night’s semi drunken revelries.

I stumbled my way into our home. It felt like I was slowly treading on jelly. I was convinced that I did not overindulge in spirits, since I could still touch my nose with my index finger. Apparently I was wrong, I realized this after my stomach lurched and I had a rather embarrassing moment of projectile vomiting, which landed on the rug and our ornate jar. I got out of my clothes and hauled my semi inebriated self onto my bed.

When I woke up this morning I had a startling epiphany – sadly, I didn’t get to explore this revealing moment since I still had to get ready for work. A cold shower was in order to fight off the feeling that I was mind-raped by ingesting alcohol. It’s either I’m horribly out of practice or my age is catching up to me – the former sounds less pathetic. As I have mentioned, I have walked a straight line for the most part of my life. Last night’s self-pity party and the moment of semi drunken debauchery actually made me feel - NORMAL. And I realized that it’s been so long since I had a moment like that with my friends.

Being there made me discover that my self-imposed state of seclusion has made me forget how it was to be around my friends. I know drowning out your sorrows via alcohol is not the best cure for melancholy (it’s not something I would recommend). However, being with people who understand you and is there to swallow a few gulps with you eases the healing process in a way. I’m getting all maudlin, but that is a incontrovertible fact. Every thing in life is just passes you by, some moments just choose to linger a bit longer. During those trying moments, it is best to be around people who can shed some light into the situation that has momentarily blind-sided you.

Oh, and about my epiphany? I can’t say that I’m totally cured of all my issues; it’s going to take a great deal of therapy to fix me. Having an undergraduate degree in psychology has helped a bit, but to cut to the chase, I realized that somehow I’m going to untangle this mess that I call my life. I already took one reckless step last night that broke the gates that has encumbered me for quite some time. Freedom may not be that elusive after all.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Living Vicariously - Savannah Roughing it in Africa: Birthday Cakes & Mating Calls

Zawadi ni zawadi, usichoke kupokea

(A gift is a gift, don't get tired of receiving)


Jamba People!


Wasn’t the reunion between Maddy and Sav just divine? I know you had to break out some Kleenex for that one, or perhaps you busted an artery or some internal organs from laughing so hard from Maddy’s attempt at seducing Ajali? It seems he has decided to become a reformed individual when it came to collecting furry couture – Gasp! Could it be? Our Maddy has given up his rather life-threatening vice? By life-threatening, I mean, he’s a threat to the lives of innocent animals. All right, enough teasing. As you recall we left our last tale hanging, with Maddy slipping out of camp. You might think the appropriate question for that dear readers is: Why, why did Maddy sneak out? However, the proper query is: What, what is that mischievous devil up to?

Brace yourselves people, the content of this tale is not for impressionable readers. I might scar you for life. I can’t promise you that this will completely be PG. You’ve been warned.

With that said,

Hongera! or Heri ya Siku kuu Maddox Keynes!

Translation: Happy Birthday Maddox Keynes.

That’s right it was Maddox Keyne’s birthday and interestingly enough, Sav was having a rather graphic dream. Would any one care to venture a guess? Oh yeah! The dream was wildly erotic.

Strange though, as she was thrashing about on her little bed, a little voice in her head wondered: if this is a sex dream about me– why am I hearing animalistic sounds?

At that, Sav’s eyes opened. She then became aware of two things. One, she wasn’t dreaming. Two, she was hearing noises in the bush, which conveniently was very close to her tent as well as Maddy’s tent.

Sav (looking at Tybalt, who was staring at the direction where the noise was coming from): What in the world is that Tybs?

The tiny simian started jumping in response.

Sav: SsHHHhhhh… let’s go check it out.

Knowing very well that her father and Ajali often left camp early in the morning to go trekking or to secure some supplies, Sav decided not to sit around like a distressed damsel, and slowly emerged from the tent to investigate the odd sounds. She walked cautiously and approached Maddox’s tent, hoping the sleeping fairy was up and would volunteer to be her partner or perhaps pose as useful bait just in case there were animals hiding in the bush.

Sav: Maddy? Maddy? I think I hear some animals mating in the bush or something… (opening his tent) Mad???

The bed had no tell-tale trace that her fab best bud even slept there. With the anxiety mounting, Sav had the most disturbing thought that her pal was dragged out of the tent by some wild beast. Running swiftly to extract her Dad’s baseball bats from the Comvee, Sav (with Tybalt on her shoulder) ventured off into the bush.

Behind her tent was a tree surrounded by a thick cluster of thorny vegetation. She carefully waded in following the odd sounds. As she slowly approached the source of the sounds, paranoid thoughts entered her mind. What if it’s pride of lions and it has decided to eat Mad for breakfast? What am I going to tell Mad’s Dad? Is this the animal’s revenge against Maddy’s support for the fur industry? Those absurd and sometimes insane thought flitted in and out of Sav’s mind. While this was happening Tybalt decided to make matters worse by bolting to the direction of the sound.

Sav: Tybalt no!!!!!

She ran, and as she got closer and closer to the sounds, she noticed a human quality to it, which vaguely resembled grunting, no, panting, and… she stopped. The sounds were very clear to her now, a voice from the back of her mind was telling her to stop and walk away, alarm bells were ringing, and common sense told her to walk no further, but as she took another step her foot landed on a few articles of clothing… This got her curious. She bent down and picked up a discarded Hermes scarf, then it hit her. This is Maddy’s clothes!!!!!

OH NO, she thought, and at the same time she heard Mad distinctively yell “OH YES”

Every nerve ending in Sav’s body was zapped as she took one final step and the sight that beheld her will most probably be burned at the back of her skull. The fabulous, the glorious, the stupendous Maddox Keynes (her bff since they were teens) was fabulously, gloriously, and stupendously naked. Naked as the day he was born – which wasn’t so bad, he was her best bud after all. What made it rather mortifying was the added presence of another naked male who had his arms wrapped around Maddy, and they were… well, let’s just say you can’t blame Sav for thinking that the sounds she heard was the mating noises of wild animals, because the dude was making Maddy roar like a lion.

Savvy, visibly shocked at the sight of her friend doing the horizontal mambo, prudently thought to excuse herself when Tybalt who climbed up the tree decided at that moment to fall on top of her face. Not aware that it was Tybalt, Sav immediately assumed that a wild animal was attacking her. This caused her to scream and run forward bumping into the two rather sweaty individuals. Quick question: Do you recall Savvy taking a baseball bat with her? Well, as she landed on the ground, the bat conveniently caused her to take a nap.

It was pitch black and somewhere Savvy could hear Maddy talking.

Mad: Oh my gosh she’s dead. We’ve killed my best bud.

Male voice: At least her parting image of you was very memorable.

Mad (smacking the person next to him): Not funny Migs…

Ajali: What in the world was she carrying a bat for?

Omarion: Were you thinking of playing baseball Maddox?

Male voice (Migs): Something like that…

Mad: (smacking Migs again) Not now! OH Savvy! Honey…. Savvy????

Sav’s eyes opened. She was lying on top of a bed flanked by 4 male faces.

Mad: Oh Savvy!!!! You’re alive. (Picking her up and hugging her fiercely).

Sav: Ouch! Easy Mad….

Mad: Sorry, God honey! You gave us such a fright.

Omarion: Yeah. Seeing Maddox’s friend carrying you unconscious into camp almost made me lose it kid.

Ajali: Which brings us to the question, what exactly happened out there?

Mad: Well….I ah….

Sav: You see Ajali, I was awakened by this strange noise coming from the bushes. I thought I heard some umm… wild animals, and when I checked Mad’s tent, I noticed that he wasn’t there and I got worried.

While this whole explanation went on, Sav prudently kept her eyes off of Mad and his friend whose faces resembled two ripe red apples.

Ajali: So you thought to bring a baseball bat into the bush, in search of your friend who was supposedly dragged by a lion?

Sav: (tried to nod, but winced) Uh… yeah.

Ajali: Savannah you know very well that lions do not behave that way, and another thing (turning to Mad) where did you sneak off to?

Mad: Well I umm…

Migs: I wanted to surprise him, so, I called him and as you can see there’s my jeep parked over there (pointed to a jeep parked way off of the camp site). I’ve been staying at the lodge for over a week, when I heard that Maddox was coming here to Africa, I decided to meet up with him.

Sav: And you are?

Mad: Savvy! I’m sooo sorry, I really needed to keep you up to speed with my uh err… business. This is Miguel Matthew Mattisson… my…

Omarion: How are you related to Marcus Mattisson?

Miguel: He’s my father

Omarion: Small world. I used to work for his lawfirm. Well Ajali, seems Sav’s okay. What’d you say we grill us up some lunch?

Off they went, leaving Sav with her best bud and his new boy toy.

Miguel (taking Savvy’s hand): It’s nice to finally meet you Sav, Madzy loves to talk about you. I wish we met during more customary circumstances.

Sav: Yes, I will never forget that first meeting, it was… interesting. It’s also interesting that ah… Madzy has not spoken to me about you.

Mad: It’s a looong story Savvy, Migs and I met in New York and well we just hit it off. He’s a world-class traveler and at the moment he is exploring this very continent.

Sav: How very convenient, is that why you suddenly flew from the big apple to Africa?

Mad: Now Sav, you know that I missed you too.

Sav: Right, (muttering under her breath) you just wanted a hotdog in the jungle.

Mad (hearing her): Savvy!!!!! My gosh! You----

Suddenly Omarion and Ajali came and started to sing Happy Birthday. Sav gave Mad a hug and ran off to her tent. When she emerged, she held a beautifully wrapped present.

Sav: Happy Birthday Maddy.

Mad: Awww…. I can’t believe you guys.

Sav: We planned a more elaborate surprise, but well, I got knocked out and all.

Mad (hugging her): you’re the best Savvy.

Miguel: Blow out your candles and make a wish.

Sav: I think he got his wish already.

Mad giggled in delight and smacked his friend, then blew out his candles. Every one took a piece of African Ginger Cake and toasted the birthday boy. Music was played and a great deal of merriment ensued.

Ajali: To usher in another year for you, and to introduce a rather weird African delicacy (takes the cover from a bowl revealing large grubs) take one and enjoy.

Mad (eyeing the worms then turned to Sav): Do I have to? I really don’t big gross worms in my mouth.

Sav (muttering under her breath): oh yes you do…

Miguel: It’s not so much a worm, as it is a snake.

Mad: Sav!!!! Miguel!!!

Sav: Oh relax Mad! I have every right to poke fun at you, after you fried my eyes with your… your…

Miguel: Recreational activities in the bush?

Sav: Yes, thank you Miguel. That, my friend, gives me the indefinite right to tease you. (turning to Miguel) bravo by the way.

Miguel (winking at Savvy): Why thank you.

Sav: Just keep it down tonight k? You wouldn’t want to wake the wild animals with your passionate symphony.

Mad: Oh Honey… can’t say that I’m sorry that you saw that. Least you get to see some action, since you barely get any on your own.

Now it was Sav’s turn to smack him.

Sav: Oh shut it immoral person

Mad: You shut it pseudo-virginal chit

Sav: Hag

Mad: Brat

Sav: Love you Honey

Mad: Love you too dear.

And so, the party went on until the skies dimmed. They dined on several exotic delicacies, which Ajali introduced one by one. Sav made wise cracking innuendos that made Mad blush furiously. Presents were opened, none of which were animal fur. There was drinking, dancing, and a great deal of laughter.

After saying their goodnights, Savvy went to bed and cranked up the volume on her iPOD. Maddy and Miguel made some music of their own.

Can you feel the love tonight?

I bet you do!

Happy Birthday you naughty devil.

TTFN

Living Vicariously - Savannah Roughing it in Africa: The Reunion

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

Greetings All,

With Toto singing in the background, let's keep you up to speed with dear old Sav Red, shall we? Yes it's true Savannah Red has her own story. I hear the collective sounds
of dismay emanating from the crowd. I know you'll miss the DD adventures, but hey, Sav and Mad need to have their separate adventures. The DD have conquered the world of VN together, they're a rather potent duo; whose presence should be enjoyed bit by bit lest you become overwhelmed by their sheer awesomeness. Imagine the chaos they would unleash
on the lovely continent of Africa? Or better yet, imagine Maddy collecting new fur coats and possibly new bags from all the animals running around the place? You wouldn't leave a baby with a known pedophile right? My point exactly, Maddox Keynes can't be left around possible sources of bags and outfits without supervision (seriously). Peta has already placed dear Maddy on their "Must douse with red paint" list. Not good.
Anyhoo, like I said, Savannah Red has her own adventures now (but be vigilant people, Maddy might show up).
Okay, quick re-cap: SR landed in the lovely plains of the Serengeti, and was greeted by a furry welcoming present (care of Daddy Omarion Red) - a Capuchin Monkey. Sav did some big time bonding with the tiny simianwhom she has named Tybalt. Tybalt enjoys grooming her or pulling her hair (depends on his mood really) tsk tsk where is a good Salon in African wilderness when you need one?
Oh yeah, Savvy really can jest at scars (or a soon to be bald scalp) and she's feeling all the wounds people. Thanks to Tybalt, you'll be hearing Sav screaming from the African plains "Romeo Romeo where for art thou Romeo?" or something like "I deny my father for giving me a monkey!"

On a much lighter note, we did get to meet our hunky Italian/African guide: Ajali Mahiri. Ajali is an African name, which means "faithful". It is also of note that Mad has set his sights on Ajali. This is going to be interesting..

Alrighty, enough theatrics for the day. On to our tale.

Savannah Red was slowly drifting to sleep, perched on their Comvee ( then she heard a voice calling her name). Now being in the middle of no-where, it wasn't an uncommon experiece to hear odd sounds, but this one definitely made the wildlife stop and listen. Tybalt, upon hearing the sound, stood up on Sav's tummy and started jumping.

Sav (eyes closed): What is it Tybz? I have seen the Gazelle's grazing, there are no lions around. Big whoop. Shut it will you?

Tybalt's noice didn't cease, which prompted Sav to open her eyes and sit up.

Sav: What is it you annoying little-

What she saw made her doubt her vision. From the distance she could see Maddox Keynes jumping and calling her name.

Maddox: Sav....Savvy!!!!

Sav (Rubbing her eyes): Mad????

Maddox (Laughing): Sav!!!! Get your butt down here.

Sav ran down to meet Maddox. Clad in an all white safari type outfit with big brown chunky boots, Maddox Keynes was a sight to behold. When Sav finally reached him, she had to doubt her vision again.

Sav: Mad where's your luggage?
Mad (turning): Right here dear (pointing to his backpack).

He then extracts an insect repellent spray bottle from his bag and starts spraying the area.

Mad: Man this place is riddled with bugs. Least I packed light with just enough supplies.
Sav: Okay Mr. Boyscout, who are you and what have you done to my Maddy?
Mad (chuckling): Dearest Savvy, I travelled a gazillion miles to get here and you're criticizing me on my lack of carry-on? tsk tsk.
Sav (hugged him, then touched his forehead): You're not sick are you? I've heard it's the peak season for Dengue fever.
Mad (taking a good look at his best bud): You should talk. Wow one month in Africa does this to you huh?
Sav: Does what?
Mad: Sav, when was the last time you took a shower?
Sav: This morning?
Mad: OH... AH well.. you look positively.....GAHHHHH
Sav (chuckling): Mad meet Tybalt, Tybalt get off him...

After a rather long and odd debate with Mad on the need to bathe frequently, perhaps every 10 minutes if necessary. Sav was outside in a wooden tub filled to the rim with bath salts and bubbles. Maddy was beside her rubbing shampoo on her head, while Tybalt was perched on his shoulder.

Mad: See isn't this nice Sav? A bath in the great outdoors.
Sav (eyes closed): Yeah. I've lived without these luxuries for a month. Father dear refuses to rejoin society and wishes to live the simple life in the African wilderness. It's actually a novel experiece, and I've warmed up to it.
Mad: A simple life with a working toilet would be nice.
Sav: The Comvee has a toilet and a shower mad.
Mad: Yes, but you can't do a No. 2 in there. Where exactly do you do that?
Sav: In the bushes?
Mad (aghast): and have a Lion take a bite off my shapely derriere??? I'd rather keep it in thank you.
Sav: (chuckling) suit yourself Mad. You'll die if you don't let it out you know? Sheesh...this is Africa Mad, you have to adapt. I did... sort of.
Mad: Yes, and I came bearing gifts from the land of New York. Before I came here you savage girl - your nails were caked with dirt, you smelled like a monkey, and your hair looked like a bird's nest. It's a crime honey to let yourself go.
Sav: I don't think I'll be going to any big soiree anytime soon Mad. Who am I going to dress up for? Tybalt?
Mad: Oh I can think of somebody...

And at that very moment Ajali entered the camp carrying an armload of wood, upon seeing Sav in the tub; he promptly dropped them. Consequently a couple logs landed on his foot. Sav lowers herself more in the tub, while Mad eyed Ajali like a fascinated Lion eyeing his meal for the day. Tybalt is screeching the whole time.

Ajali: Yoooooow... (jumping then rubbing his left foot)
Sav: Ajali you weren't supposed to be back till sundown. Where's my Dad?
Ajali (averting his eyes): He's taking pictures of the Giraffes 10 miles from here. I'm sorry, I didn't know that you have taken it upon yourself to build a spa in here. I'll go behind the Comvee, why don't you get dressed.

Minutes later Sav emerges from the comvee in a green dress (upon Mad's insistence). She plops herself on the lawn chairs that they placed outside. Mad with Tybalt still on his shoulder, plants himself beside Sav.

Ajali (eyes closed): Are you decent?

Before Sav could answer him, Mad speaks for her.

Mad: Well, I've been known to be downright raunchy, but yes, I can be decent.
Sav (rolling her eyes): Ajali I'd like you to meet my best bud Maddox Keyes. (turning to Mad). Mad, this is Ajali Mahiri, he's a Zoologist. And-
Mad (taking Ajali's hand): That documentary that you did for Nat Geo was inspired. Enchante.
Ajali: Oh... ah thank you. Nice to meet you Maddox.
Mad: Please call me Maddy.
Ajali: Alright, so Maddy, what brings you to the Serengeti?
Mad: I heard the beasts that roam the plains are amazing (eyeing Ajali appreciatively, then Sav nudges him)
Ow... Oh, and I came here for my Savvy. Poor dear looked like a hobo.
Sav: I'm not deaf Mad.
Mad (chuckles): So, Ajali tell me about yourself...

After what seemed like lightyears, Mad compiled enough information about Ajali. Those very moments felt like the Spanish inquisition, much to Savvy's chagrin, but Ajali answered every question good-naturedly. He then suggested to give Maddox a tour around the area. Maddox took a lot of pictures, none of which contained images of the area, but of their enthusiastic guide instead. Sav had to stifle the urge to giggle and roll her eyes. She was extremely happy to have her best bud with her. Lord knows a month in Africa with two males and a monkey can turn any self respecting female into a - well, a dude. Maddox was chattering animatedly with Ajali and Sav followed them quietly with Tybalt working out whatever "bugs" he thought she had in her hair.

As Sav stared at her best bud, and couldn't help but wonder how much her life has changed. Sure, she and Maddy were inseparable, but the long distance chats they had daily; could not really make up for their constant togetherness the year before. She was definitely proud of her fab friend for working extremely hard for his father's upcoming world tour, and she hoped that he would find his true heart's calling and possibly a stable boyfriend, but knowing Maddy, he was just content to bask in a candy store of men before he relinquishes his sweet tooth.

Sav could hear Ajali talking about the Serengeti National Park.

Ajali: People are not allowed to stay in this area actually, only some Zoologists doing research and other special cases. Back in the day the British did some damage by hunting a lot of game, this park is now protected...
Mad (not hearing a word he said): Oh yeah fascinating, so tell me Ajali do you plan on going back to the states after O Red gets his fill of wild animals and grasslands?
Ajali (looks at Savvy): Didn't you tell your friend that your Father plans to live here?
Mad: (turns to Savvy): Sav your Dad wants to plant roots here? In Africa?
Sav: Yeah, sorry, I was going to tell you. Dad's enjoying the life here. Can't blame him, it's a hell of a lot better than his old life....
Mad: But how about you sweetie, are you planning on staying here forever?
Sav: Sort of. Actually Mad, I'm going back to civilization soon. I just accepted a job offer and my little vacation here will be over in a month or so.
Mad: Well, well, look at you Savvy conquering the world. Africa has really done something interesting for you. I should stay here longer and see if I pick something up that might give me a boost.

Mad then takes out his trusty insect repellent and starts spraying. Spray, Spray, Spray.

Mad: Goodness what is it with all the bugs....
Ajali: Take it easy on that kid.. don't want to poison the air.
Mad: It's not harmful to animals FYI. I may be cruel to bugs, but not to animals.
Sav (muttering under her breath): Only if they can become a coat or a bag.
Mad (nudging Savvy, then whispers): SHHHHHH Ajali just informed me that he's one of those people for the ethical treatment of animals thingy.
Sav (whispering back): It's called PETA Mad, you know my Mom's into that too. I guess you should hide your tortoise shell sunglasses then huh?
Mad: Oh my... (taking off his glasses and shoving it into his bag). You think he noticed?
Sav: I don't think so, and I don't think he's an active member. If he was, he'd know that your picture is always on page 6 AND you're always wearing something that used to be alive.

Appropriately, Tybalt started to fidget.

Mad: He doesn't have to know that... (looking at Tybalt) don't worry about your furry little butt. I'm not interested in making you my handbag.
Sav (laughing): See mad, you really should go cold turkey on the wildlife couture.
Mad: Yeah yeah. Send me to rehab.

Spray, Spray, Spray...

When they reached camp, Omarion already had a roaring fire ready as well as their dinner- and right beside Savvy's tent was a mountain of luggage, all of which had tags bearing the initials "MK" on them.

Savvy turned to Mad and quirked a brow at him, and he smiled sheepishly.

Mad: This is Africa darling.... I need several outfit changes.

That night, after everybody fell asleep. Maddox was seen seeking out of his tent. Is our raunchy rascal up for trouble?

Hmm... You'll know soon enough.

Hush my darling don't fear my darling the lion sleeps tonight.

TTFN

Living Vicariously: Savannah Roughing it in Africa.

In the Jungle,
the mighty jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.
In the jungle,
the quiet jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.

Hello Folks, or as the people in Africa say Jambo! Salama! Moni! and all that jazz. Last time we checked, Savvy was a real mess as she parted with her long time bff Maddox Keynes. Here she is now fighting to regain her sanity (and to do some serious soul searching) as she joins her father (back to where everything started, she was born there after all) Africa. This is seriously a tale torn out of the pages from the The Wild Thornberrys series. She's no Eliza Thornberry, but in her lesser moments of sanity, Sav has been spotted chatting with her new Capuchin Monkey, Tybalt (sadly he doesn't talk back). She has also befriended her Father's new best bud, Ajali Mahiri. An entertaining fellow, who was born in Namibia. His father was African, while his mother was Italian. He left Africa to become a Zoologist. He worked with National Geographic to document the plight of the African Elephant. Savvy's father met him in a coffee shop and somehow they struck a good friendship. When Omarion heard that Ajali was going back to Africa, he decided to tag along in the hopes of leaving his old life. Strangely enough, Savvy is following in her Father's footsteps...

Day 1

Savannah Red, stepped out of the tiny plane that brought her to Tanzania (East Africa). The poor dear was suffering from a huge case of "Uh-oh" as in Uh oh I'm in the middle of no- where. She then boarded a jeep that took her to the Serengeti camp where her Father was staying. The moment she arrived, she stifled the urge to groan. She took one look at the campsite with the tiny tents, surrounded by nothing but dirt and an endless view of grassy plains and wished with all her heart that she was back in London with her randy roommate. Why do I get the feeling that I just made a big mistake coming here?. Before she even had a chance to get another paranoid thought out, her Father, Omarion Red, gave her his "present".



Savvy: (staring at the tiny primate who was earnestly staring back at her) Is this some odd African welcoming ceremony thingy Dad, giving people monkeys the moment they arrive?
Omarion Red: (laughing) No, actually we saved that little guy when we went to Argentina, he was in a pretty bad shape. His mother was killed by poachers and well, your Mom-.
Savvy: Decided to make her the new family pet?
Omarion Red: (smiling) Specifically, your new pet.
Savvy: (Trying not to cringe as the monkey climbed up to groom her) I don't recall asking for a monkey for Christmas or my Birthday Dad.
Omarion Red: Yeah, well you wanted a monkey when you were 7, didn't you say that it would be cool to have a monkey like Abu, you know, the one in Aladdin?
Savvy: I wanted to become a mermaid, and have a crab like Sebastian too, but you never tossed me in the ocean, AND you ate the crab Grandpa gave me.
Omarion Red: At least you got your Monkey now eh? Let's get your stuff, Ajali will be taking you to sacred Maasai sites, and you'll get to see the cave paintings. I hope you packed some practical footwear....

Practical Footwear. The words echoed in her mind, as Ajali helped her cart off the 7 pc. Louis Vuitton luggage set that she brought for the rest of her stay in good ol' Africa. None of which contained the prescribed footwear for "roughing it" in the Serengeti. She prudently mentioned this to her Father, who rolled his eyes and minutes later; garbed in a white tank top and khaki shorts, Sav suppressed the urge to stare at the chunky boots that her Father helpfully produced.

Trekking around the area wasn't too bad, in fact, Sav was enjoying herself as Ajali pointed out the areas where there will be great views of the animals.

Ajali: Tonight, you shall fall asleep to the roars of the mighty lion and the chuckles of the hyena.

Sav smiled, great, now I'll get nightmares about being eaten by the carnivores that are prancing around the area. Perfect this is... OUCH!!!!! The Monkey on her shoulder pulled her hair, and interrupted her train of thought.

Sav: Listen here buddy, you and I are... hey!!!!

The monkey grabbed the book from her backpack and climbed up a tree.

Sav: Hey you! come down and give that back!!!!!

The mischievous primate only cocked it's head and started to lick and bite the book.

Sav: (Grabbing a banana from her bag) Here monkey monkey, come get the banana... Come on....

This move seemed to coax the tiny beast, it came down slowly, but before Sav could grab her book, the monkey snatched the banana and climbed back up the tree.

Sav: GAHHHH! Come here you!!!

While this odd scene took place, Ajali was doubled over, laughing.

Sav: Stop laughing! Nataka...book!!! (I want.. book)

Ajali: (Surprised, then responded in Swahili) You speak Swahili?

Sav: (Sheepish) Uh... what's the word? ah! hapana (no) I ah... sort of studied in the plane a bit...

Ajali: (Laughing) You don't need to get fancy with me Princess. I speak English, so, your Dad tells me that you were born here, you happy to be back?

Sav: Yeah... I guess.

Ajali: I sense that you carry a great burden.

Sav: Yes, it's up there (points to the tree).

Ajali: (shaking his head) No, I know as much that you had a good life in London. What made you come to Africa?

Sav: I.. wanted a break, a little vacation. I was expecting to stay at the Ngorongoro Serena Safari Lodge. I didn't think I would be roughing it in a dirt camp as live bait for the lions.

Ajali: (chuckling) Your Father wanted an adventure. It's not very dangerous here. I've been here a thousand times and not one Lion has chosen me for a snack, but just in case, we do have that vehicle home your Dad purchased for your convenience.

Sav: A comvee? my Dad got me a comvee???? Great, he was really not kidding about living like the Wild Thornberrys.

Ajali: Wild Thornberrys?

Sav: What? big smart Nat Geo guy didn't have cable? (when he shrugged, she went on) It's a cartoon in Nickelodeon about a girl who has the power to speak to animals, whose family traveled around in an Comvee or an RV to film animals all over the world. Ironically, said girl also had a pet monkey (looking up the tree). I think my father is going all out on this for me.

Ajali: For the record, I had no time for cartoons. I was too busy trying not to get trampled by Paciderms. Anyway, why does the girl have the power to speak to animals?

Sav: Some Shaman gave her that gift and- (pauses as an odd look crosses Ajali's face). what?

Ajali: My great grandfather is a Shaman.

Sav: Really? Well, for the record, if I ever meet him, please inform him ahead that I do not want to talk to animals.

Ajali: (chuckling) you were speaking to him (pointing up the tree).

Sav: Ah yes, but I don't really want to know what he's saying back. Might drive me nuts... and-

It started to rain paper. Sav looked up to see her furry friend merrily ripping her book to shreds.

Ajali picked up a page that had fallen on his head.

Ajali: Ah... the tragic tale of Romeo and Juliet.

Sav: My favorite book too. Dumb Monkey.

Ajali: You have to come up with a name for your furry companion.

At that precise moment, said furry companion decided to climb down the tree to hand Sav a torn page: Sav read:

(Act 3, Scene 1)
Tybalt: Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford
No better term than this: thou art a villain."

Thou, wretched boy, that didnst consort him here,
Shalt with him hence.

Sav: (sighing while picking up her pet) Thou art a real villain Tybalt.

______________________________________________________________________



The sun was setting and Sav was completely exhausted from the trek around the Serengeti. She was able to see the Masai sites and view a couple of cave paintings. She discovered that Ajali, who not only looked like an Italian model with a lot of stubble, it turns out, he was a really deep individual who had the propensity to spout Swahili words of wisdom and proverbs. They were discussing her Father again, about his life in the past as a Defense Attorney and Ajali said something quite profound and amusing at the same time.

Ada ya mja hunena mungwana ni kitendoí

When she asked what it meant, he said "Public opinion maintains, a gentleman is judged by his actions." When she just stared at him, he added, "Handsome is as handsome does". When Sav started laughing, Ajali asked.

Ajali: What is amusing about what I said?

Sav: Sorry, you reminded me of Forest Gump. Handsome is as handsome does... Are you saying my Father came here to Africa to purge himself of his old life, because he felt that he wasn't really upholding justice by defending people who were guilty of the crimes that they committed?

Ajali: Yes. His dream did not match the people that he was representing.

Sav: He told you that? (When Ajali nodded, Sav added) Wow! Tour guide, animal expert, and shrink.


When they arrived at camp, her Father handed her a Satellite phone. When Sav answered, she was surprised to hear a familiar voice on the other line:

Sav: Hello?
Maddox Keynes: Savvy!!!!!
Sav: Mad!!! I miss you so much!!!!!
Mad: Me too honey! how are you?

Sav relayed her first day in Africa.

Mad: Ooh how old is that Ajali person hmmm? He sounds sexy.
Sav (rolling her eyes): He's 29. Mad, you haven't met the guy and you're already hitting on him.
Mad (laughing): Sorry honey, old habits die hard.
Sav: How is it over there in New York?
Mad: Well, Father is recording in the studio, I ran out for a coffee break. So, have you spotted any Lions or Elephants yet? I know you wanted to get your derriere over there to and I quote: "see the world" how is it?
Sav: the moment I got here I wanted to go home, I started to regret the whole thing, but I'm giving this whole experience a try. It won't kill me to AAAAAAAH
Mad: What? are you being attacked by an African tribe?
Sav (pulling Tybalt from her head): Sorry, it's my monkey, he's pulling my hair.
Mad (laughing): OMG! you really do have a monkey!!!!
Sav: Yes, unfortunately I'm the proud owner of a Capuchin monkey.
Mad: Ooooh like the one in FRIENDS. Ross' monkey.
Sav: Yes, that one.
Mad: Didn't it emmm... hump things?
Sav (recalling the reason for the departure of Ross' pet): Oh... I forgot about that. Great...
Mad: Well, you can always ask Jali to help you if Tybalt gets frisky.
Sav: Wow! you already have a nickname for him.
Mad: Come on Sav!!!! I'm single and ready to mingle.
Sav: I'm not setting you up with Ajali.
Mad: Well tough, I'm coming over anyway.
Sav (excited): You're coming over?????
Mad: Yeap, soon dear. Honey, I have to run. Dad and his mates are calling.
Sav: Okay Maddy.
Mad: Ta, dear. I'll send you emails every day till I get there... Wait, do you have DSL over there?
Sav: Yeah I think so, Dad has brought all the technology that we need. There's Satellite internet service or something.
Mad: Oh-kay.... just check your emails Sav honey and you take care. Sleep tight, don't let the Lions bite.
Sav: HA HA



After a brief campfire bonding session with Ajali and her Father, Sav entered her tent. She had a tiny bed flanked with all her luggage. She sighed and turned to Tybalt on her shoulder, "Toto we're definitely not in Kansas anymore". Tybalt cocked his head and rushed off to sit on her bed. "Hey, don't get any ideas furball, that's my bed!" when he refused to move. Sav sat beside him, "Okay, I'll share for tonight, but tomorrow you're going to sleep on the floor or I'll tie you to a post or something...."

As she closed her eyes the sounds of Lions and Hyenas echoed and Sav hid under the covers...

I'm in Africa with my adventure seeking Father, whose idea of a thrill before was maintaining his winning streak in court. I'm going to spend every day with a guy who is a quirky combination of Buddha and Confucius. Maddox is halfway around the world and my new best friend likes to pick fleas off of other animals for fun...

I'm Savannah Red, Get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOve & CHoCoLatES

I look at him and wonder what he's thinking about. He smiles and something inside me just melts. Melting like chocolate on a hot summer day. You see, he has the most beautiful eyes, that lights up as he looks at me, and I'm always awed by the warmth that I find in it's amber depths. Not a word is spoken, but a question is in my mind “What are you thinking about?”. He doesn't answer out loud, but in his eyes I see something, the warmth is spreading and he quirks a brow at me. As if reading his mind, I smile back, because I know what he is thinking about- I stifle the urge to laugh. Somehow we have acquired the power to read each other's minds, it's a rather odd thing really, but it is what ties us together.

We're both silent. He's sitting, playing with his DS and I'm trying to read my book. He takes my hand and we just sit there in companionable silence, which is often broken by the ruckus going around, we both look up and then continue with what we were previously doing, still holding hands.

We love to eat, I greatly enjoy those moments wherein he just spoils me with all kinds of treats. I enjoy stealing food from his plate and he doesn't seem to mind at all, in fact, he finds it adorable- there's that smile again.

I love those moments when I wake up and find him sitting on my bed smiling at me, then I fall back into the world of dreams, comforted by the fact that he's just there beside me.

Just like Sleeping Beauty, I am often awakened by a kiss. In my languorous state, I open one eye, and smile. “Wake up” he says, whining about the hour and how long I have been sleeping. Reluctantly, I get up, only to fall back into bed, ready to sleep again, but he helps me sit up, and I lean on his shoulder to sleep again. He laughs... “Wake up sleepy head...”

Every one seems to believe that you cannot have too much of a good thing- can two people actually be inseparable? Or to borrow Beyonce's popular song: Crazy in love?

I have read that love is overrated, it is biochemically similar to ingesting large quantities of chocolate. Let me break it down for you:

Phenethylamines are the chemicals produced when one is “in love”, (that is what gives us the “high” feeling). It is quite noticeable when a person is in love right? It's called the “cloud nine” phase, wherein you are just in a constant state of bliss fueled by moments spent or lack thereof with your love one, causing you to act like a total softie, floating on air high on the drug called L-O-V-E (scientifically: it's the Phenethylamines that is making you act all googly eyed). Phenethylamines can also be found in foods like? What? CHOCOLATE. You see, being in love is only temporary, because the Phenethylamines that are circulating our system only lasts the duration of 3 months (read that in an article), give or take- yes, the love drug eventually wears off. Which begs the question, is it that easy to fall in and out of love for somebody?

Answer: Yes & No.

Yes, why? Well, It's complicated. You see, there's the element called change, much like the circle of life, that causes mold to grow on bread and what have you, the same powerful forces cause people to change (or is it just human nature?)... Which basically diminishes the love drug. Translation: Sometimes the people we fall in love with... change, in effect, it causes our feelings change and well, people grow apart. In true blue shrink language: uhem...”That would be the time wherein the two people have to reassess their relationship and figure if that perceived void or crossroads in their relationship is worth fixing or it would be healthier for both parties to just go their separate ways and find growth in another relationship.”

Some people are just not meant to be together, it may seem like a perfect match in theory, but hey, take a look at the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston marriage and so many other Hollywood marriages (well, bad examples) but yeah, no matter how obviously great two people are together, sometimes it just doesn't click. Kind of like Ken and Barbie thing, they didn't choose to be together, Matel made them for each other and created the hype behind their romance. Long story short, couples just have to have that certain “something” that cannot be discerned by others, call it everlasting love or loyalty (whatever), it is something that they have that makes the relationship work, not some cover of perfection.

Now to the No, part. It is not easy to just fall out of love for somebody, because... although the love drug wears off, there's another chemical that keeps love alive- Oxytocin. It is what allows couples to have that bond, which increases trust and empathy- all of which are very important in a relationship. That, my dears, is the certain “something” couples share. It is what allows them to grow old together and still keep that spark alive- yes, it is a wildly idealistic theory, but it is plausible.

So here, I am eating a LOT of chocolate, and the only thought plaguing my mind, is his smile.... and his laugh...his...

He waves his hand in front of me, signaling that I have lapsed into one of my daydreams. "Huh?" I say... "What did I miss?" in answer, He looks at me, and there it is... The unpoken answer, "What was he thinking about as he looked at me???"

The answer to that... Is our little secret.

Si, this is amore...and a song plays in my mind...

When boy meets girl here's what they say
When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore
(When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore
Lucky fella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore, (amore)
That's amore

Living Vicariously: A Day in the Life of Savannah Red and Maddox Keynes - The Finale -

Maddox & Savvanah have left the Building.

Hello Dears I know you've missed me. Esereth Rageni Amari here, your saucy and impertinent blogger. Yes, Yes, the cricket sounds emitted by my blog has echoed to a disturbing cacophony, apologies. I just got back from my brief stint at the loony bin. Not exactly a grand tale that I would love to describe in detail, let's just say, I had a little "Girl Interrupted" episode. Enough said.

The last we heard of the fabulous DD, Maddox Keynes was in a sour mood due to an upset caused by a rather callous individual, and as usual, our dear Savannah Red swooped in to rescue her fab pal. Sad to say dears, this will probably (emphasis on "probably") be the last installment of the DD adventures. I'm quite sure this bit of news won't sit too well with fans of the dynamic duo, but alas! as the trite saying goes: "All good things must come to an end".

The DD were miserable - Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that their designer shoes were too tight. Or maybe their heads weren't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that their fighting spirit was becoming too small.

FLASHBACK

If you recall this little tidbit:
Vanity Nexus has assigned Mad to star in an awesome movie in Australia, while Sav has been busy with her journalistic duties in the jolly good London

Savvanah Red.

Sav, was specially flown over to London to work on a huge story about Harry Potter. She spent a great deal of her life (almost a year in fact) in merry old London, getting drunk on tea and pigging out on crumpets. Life in London was peaceful, and Sav made the most out of her living situation. She had a flat in Notting Hill, which was the setting of the famous movie named after the same area, starring Julia Roberts & Hugh Grant. She lived with a roomie, Molly McShaw, the starving artist who more often that not, came home stinking pissed (drunk) and if that wasn't bad enough, Molly had the propensity to bring home rather interesting companions. Sav was inured to the strange noises coming from Molly's room. The last guy Molly brought home, was an Italian (Marco) the street performer. The dude was a mime on the streets, but in Molly's bedroom, he was anything but the character that he played. As God as her witness, Sav totally undertood all the words that he yelled during his hot session of copulation with her roommate. There was "Dio", and "Inamorata", “Manico” and her favorite "Molly! Si, si, mio dio!".
Prudently, I will strike out the other interesting tidbits from that particular scene. As a rule, I like to keep things PG.
As some form of respite from her amorous roomie, Sav went out A LOT. She would be spotted at Buckingham Palace, trying to get a smile out of the famous, unmoving & unblinking London Guards. Sometimes, she would be walking around Hyde Park eating an apple, or she would spend a great deal of time staring at exhibits in the Natural History Museum at South Kensington.

It was a typical Monday morning, and Sav was walking down the street en route to the office. She had almost reached her destination when she was suddenly arrested by a rather disturbing thought. Now, I won't prattle on and on about what idea assaulted our gal's mind, but I will tell you that for the rest of the day, or for the months that followed, our Sav's state of mind veered off from sanity road to the express highway of crazy.
A series of rather unfortunate events followed, events that would put Lemony Snicket's dreary tales to shame. When it rains, it pours, and our dear Savvy was left standing out amid a storm sans a protective umbrella. Another disaster struck, her "big story" never came, and merry old London didn't feel so merry anymore. Sav spent her time shuffling papers and sending out emails, in zombie mode, unblinking, feeling as if she was circling the drain. Then the thought, that plagued her for months came rushing in "I don't know what I want....". The fire in her spirit had dulled down to a slow burn. Sav was in trouble.

Maddox Keynes

"CUTTTTTTT!!!!!" The director yelled, "Get it togethah Keynes!"
It was another typical day on the set for Maddox. Ten months, they were filming this movie, and it seems the work environment was as disastrous as the chaos that hurricane Katrina unleashed on New Orleans. As expected, the director was throwing an award winning hissy fit.
"Ye col dhat actin?" the man with the thick Australian accent yelled at Mad, a vein was visibly throbbing on his forehead.
"From dhat one tayke, I could'a flown to Cambowdia, adopted a chyeld, and raaysed him ta bee a bettah actah than ye!!!!!"
Maddox stifled the urge to rip out his hair, of course he was not going to resort to the desecration his glorious locks just for some temperamental SOB, but ye Gods! There was no pleasing him.
"Ows abouwt wee tayke a brek an' ye work on yer 'actin' ey Keynes?" said the director dismissing him.
As he turned to leave, Maddox pounded both his fists together in a gesture that he learned from watching an episode of Friends.
Ha! Shine dill! Maddox thought, smiling. Oh yeah, ten months in Aussie land taught him a couple of choice cuss words. It's been that way for Maddox for what felt like a flaming eternity. Constantly being yelled at by the bully testa di merda director. Almost every day he had to put up with the constant rant of "Keynes! ya bluming bafoon!" followed by a string of Australian expletives that would cause a Koala's ears to bleed. I want to go home, Maddox heard his mind say. Ever since he started working on this movie, his life had become a total train wreck. No matter how much he tried to please the overbearing director, not even raising one complaint - notwithstanding the tongue lashing that he got day in and day out, the gossip columnists and Paparazzi painted him as the "Diva". In Maddox's world that merda's not going to fly. He was "Maddox Keynes" dammit! he was the son of a rock legend (a forgotten rock star of the band "The Forgotten"), but either way, he was bloody Maddox Keynes, no one, treats rock royalty this way. As the Aussies say: Maddox, was “mad” as a cut snake.

Present

Spotted:

Maddox Keynes and Savannah Red at a Starbucks getting their dose of over-priced gourmet coffee and goodies.

Mad: So what will it be Savvy dear? My treat.
Sav: Hmmm I'll have an iced white choco frap thing, and a Belgian waffle.
Mad: (laughing): Honey, It's 8 in the evening, isn't it a little late for you to be eating a waffle?
Sav (shrugs): Sue me Mad, my inner clock is busted and I like to have my breakfast meals at night. I also enjoy sleeping during the day, and I get a kick out of drinking people's blood.
Mad (rolling his eyes): Having one of your vampire delusions again? Puhleez Edward Cullen would never bite you.
Sav: Honey, I wouldn't let that shiny disco ball vampire bite me.
Mad: I would.
Sav: Yes, and you'd bite back too.
Mad: (laughing, then sobered up to address counter dude) She'll have the iced white choco frap and a waffle, I'll have a warm caramel frap - por favor… make that for Savannah and Maddox.

When they got their orders, counter dude got them mixed up, and the cups were labeled "Madox" and "Savana".

They sat in one of those plush booths, sipping gingerly on their drinks and swapping comical tales about their lives. Savvy told Mad that she has decided to leave London to work with her father (the ex Defense Attorney turned nature enthusiast) in Africa.

Mad: You're going with your Dad? The Brady Barr wannabe, (trying to imagine Sav swimming in murky water) you're going to film crocs or something?
Sav (laughing): Yes, well, not quite. I'm going there for some soul searching.
Mad: Hon, you don't go soul searching in Africa. You go there to see the wild animals, or save starving children. Maybe do the whole destination plastic surgery thing, but not to do some bout of introspection. You can do that on a shrink's couch here.
Sav: I just need to get away Mad.
Mad: London's not far enough?
Sav: That’s not the point, and you know it. I just need-
Mad: More.
Sav: Exactly.
Mad: So that's it huh Honey? You're really going far away to hang out with Lions and Elephants just to see what the world is like? Why can't you just go to the Zoo?
Sav: (Laughing) Sometimes you have to lose something, in order to find something else - does that make sense? It's not the most eloquent thought I have, but that's it.
Mad: Uhuh...So, let me see, in short, you've lost your mind AND you're looking for another one?
Sav: Let's just say, I'm going to save the world Mad.
Mad: Yes, save the crazy girl, save the world. Gotcha.
Sav: Just support me with this why don't cha?????
Mad: Fine, fine… If you happen to spot a big fat gator over there, bring one back, I need a new hand bag.
Sav: (Appalled) Maddy! Don’t let my Mother hear that! You know she frowns upon the practice of slaughtering animals for fashion & etc. She is a PETA supporter tsk tsk.
Mad: Right, right, WAIT A MINUTE. (He turns sharply to his best bud, eyes narrowed) you gave me a snakeskin Gucci bag for my birthday last year.
Sav: (Sheepish) It’s a rip-off Mad.
Mad: (Sharp intake of breath) Say it isn’t so… Savvy it’s a crime.
Sav: (Rolling her eyes) Okay, so now that we have established that I am a fashion felon and that you are public enemy number one for PETA, what are your plans? You know, since that Oscar winning director loves you so much.
Mad: (Sighs) Father and his mates are planning on a come-back tour.
Sav: What???? The great Chad Britt Keynes and The Forgotten are going on tour????? Awesome.
Mad: Yes, yes, let’s not soil our panties now. Papa dear, wants yours truly to be a big shot music producer, and creative director for their music videos.
Sav: Get out! Wow! I’m just gobsmacked over here. That’s a ripper Mad!!!!
Mad: (Surprised) Well, well, look at you, brushing up on your Australian lingo.
Sav: Yes, yes, I’m a regular linguist. But Mad!!! That is just awesome news.
Mad: I’m not sure.
Sav: Aw… Come on! You know that director’s full of himself. Mr. Figjam.
Mad: (Laughs) Sav, you’re a hoot. Are you part Australian now?
Sav: No, I’ve perfected the art of “googling”. (dismissing the topic) Mad! You’re nuts if you stay in Aussie land and miss out on the come-back of The Forgotten, they may not be like the Rolling Stones, but they are legendary!!!!!
Mad: Yes, I know, that’s why by the end of the month I’m going to New York. Papa is working in the recording studio as we speak.
Sav: Bon Dieu! You did it????
Mad: (Grinning from ear to ear) Yep, I did it, I told Bucky Dex the Director to go (bleep) himself.

Well, in Starbucks they say that the DD’s shriveled up spirits grew three sizes that day.

Maddox Keynes left Australia, exiting the set clad in a white Armani suit. He packed all his clothes in his faux snakeskin Gucci bag, and kicked off merrily walking tall with his new white boots.

Savvy was done with crumpets, she never liked tea. She waved goodbye to the London Guards who were as still as can be. She left randy old Molly, and rode off in a stretch limousine. The only sad part about leaving London? Savvy didn’t get to meet the Queen.

When all is said and done, all good things must come to an end, don’t despair the DD finale, don’t grieve their fabulous end. Who said that their adventures were over? Why, the fun has just begun.


They bonded over shopping, they bonded over boys, they talked about "human reproduction", they laughed and made a lot of noise. This is just the merry ending, or rather a merry beginning, a new adventure starts, this is it ladies and gents-

Maddox and Savvanah have left the building.


As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

~TTFN~

Living Vicariously: Eight World Wonder

"Seven days and seven nights of thunder
The water's rising and I'm slipping under
I think I fell in love with the eighth world wonder..."

Spotted:
Maddox Keynes driving his beemer (and fast!). There was a fierce look in his eyes and anyone who caught a glimpse of our feisty fashion maven (amid the blur he left because of the speed) would know that he was looking for trouble.
SHREEEECH!!!!
Mad stomped on the brakes as a figure clad in red stood before him. Exasperated he yelled, "Get out of my way beeyach".
The girl smiles, "Where dya think you're going honey?".
"Nowhere!!!!"
The girl quirks her eyebrow at him.
"Tsk tsk tsk... Maddy if you were looking for trouble, you just found it".
Maddox smiles in spite of himself, and signals the girl to get in. He sighs, "Now what?". Savannah Red smiles "Let's go run over that moron who had the audacity to bring a frown on your immaculate face".

Hell hath no fury like a fab guy scorned.

Savannah, upon discovering the plight of her best bud sends him the following email:

Maddy,

I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, I saw your My Space and that's when I knew something was wrong. Well, at least you found out early on before you were in too deep. This may sound odd Mad, but you should celebrate that you're rid of the scum of the Earth, moping over it is only good for a day or perhaps a matter of hours. Look at it this way, at least you didn't get to invest too much of your time with him right? Believe me Mad, you're better off without him, try listening to this song my the Sugababes entitled "No Can Do" it's quite hmmm... empowering.
It's alright to be pissed, learn from it and don't tuck it into your heart, you're too fabulous to become disenchanted by love. You're young honey, you don't need to immerse yourself into a world of passionate turmoil just yet, in German it is called Sturm and Drang, literally translated to "Storm & Stress" a result of partaking in rather tempestuous relationships. I'm not patronizing you dear, you know me, I'm quite nurturing and I love to mend your aches and pains. Bluntly speaking, screw him! He's not the only F-ing guy in the world Mad, grieving over flaming idiots is not something you should do - you're too good for that. I'm not saying that you're too good for anybody honey, but if a person were to be your match, your equal. He should damn well have the brains to know how to worship the ground that you walk on and not have the audacity to throw glances at other lesser mortals. Remember what Carrie said, when real people fall down, they get right back up. Strut your stuff honey, don't wallow in self pity or rage. You're loud and proud of it, you're the eight world wonder hehehe :)

Feel better Maddy, really, I can't stand not being able to comfort you. It's hard being here in LONDON knowing you're waaaaaaaaaay over there in Aussie land (AUSTRALIA). Do take care dear.

Love lots,
Sav

P.S. Don't you dare start posting shout outs or allowing that little worm of self hate wriggle into your head. You will find love, you just have to love yourself enough first. So that if a guy lets you down you can just say "It's ok honey, I can't be with someone who is not sure enough of himself. Being with me is a privilege, and you're just a moron for not realizing that."


What is an eight world wonder you ask?

It is something that brings out the following reactions from people: Shock and Awe. AND yes, those are the very same reactions that people display within the midst of Maddox Keynes. Son of a once famous Rockstar (of the band "The Forgotten) and a perky hotel heiress. Any one who dares to cross him will earn his fiery wrath and the lash of his biting wit.

"Excuse me????" he once stared down a worthless mortal standing before him who mistook him for an employee at McDonald's. "I'm frickin Maddox Keynes!!! Do I look like I work here????" he exclaims. Staring at him with all his lavish garb, it is quite an insult to be mistaken for a common fast food employee, which prompts the offender to scurry away like a mouse that has seen a rather ravenous feline.

MADDOX KEYNES, those two little words that tend to shock and awe.

The eight world wonder.

Don't get mad sweet pea, don't get even either

Nobody can bring down the eight world wonder

Just strut your stuff...

Don’t try to sweet talk me no more
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
What makes you think I’d want you back again?

And now my mind has been made out
And I have had enough
You’ve had your chance and now this is the end

You could’ve handled things a little differently
But now you’re on your own and you’ll be missing me!

Sorry, no can do
‘Cause you’re never really gonna make it better
So forget forever
Now it’s time to face it boy we’re through
‘Cause I ain’t got time for your conversations
So sorry, no can do

(Sugababes - No Can Do)