Living Vicariously: Savannah Roughing it in Africa.

In the Jungle,
the mighty jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.
In the jungle,
the quiet jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.

Hello Folks, or as the people in Africa say Jambo! Salama! Moni! and all that jazz. Last time we checked, Savvy was a real mess as she parted with her long time bff Maddox Keynes. Here she is now fighting to regain her sanity (and to do some serious soul searching) as she joins her father (back to where everything started, she was born there after all) Africa. This is seriously a tale torn out of the pages from the The Wild Thornberrys series. She's no Eliza Thornberry, but in her lesser moments of sanity, Sav has been spotted chatting with her new Capuchin Monkey, Tybalt (sadly he doesn't talk back). She has also befriended her Father's new best bud, Ajali Mahiri. An entertaining fellow, who was born in Namibia. His father was African, while his mother was Italian. He left Africa to become a Zoologist. He worked with National Geographic to document the plight of the African Elephant. Savvy's father met him in a coffee shop and somehow they struck a good friendship. When Omarion heard that Ajali was going back to Africa, he decided to tag along in the hopes of leaving his old life. Strangely enough, Savvy is following in her Father's footsteps...

Day 1

Savannah Red, stepped out of the tiny plane that brought her to Tanzania (East Africa). The poor dear was suffering from a huge case of "Uh-oh" as in Uh oh I'm in the middle of no- where. She then boarded a jeep that took her to the Serengeti camp where her Father was staying. The moment she arrived, she stifled the urge to groan. She took one look at the campsite with the tiny tents, surrounded by nothing but dirt and an endless view of grassy plains and wished with all her heart that she was back in London with her randy roommate. Why do I get the feeling that I just made a big mistake coming here?. Before she even had a chance to get another paranoid thought out, her Father, Omarion Red, gave her his "present".



Savvy: (staring at the tiny primate who was earnestly staring back at her) Is this some odd African welcoming ceremony thingy Dad, giving people monkeys the moment they arrive?
Omarion Red: (laughing) No, actually we saved that little guy when we went to Argentina, he was in a pretty bad shape. His mother was killed by poachers and well, your Mom-.
Savvy: Decided to make her the new family pet?
Omarion Red: (smiling) Specifically, your new pet.
Savvy: (Trying not to cringe as the monkey climbed up to groom her) I don't recall asking for a monkey for Christmas or my Birthday Dad.
Omarion Red: Yeah, well you wanted a monkey when you were 7, didn't you say that it would be cool to have a monkey like Abu, you know, the one in Aladdin?
Savvy: I wanted to become a mermaid, and have a crab like Sebastian too, but you never tossed me in the ocean, AND you ate the crab Grandpa gave me.
Omarion Red: At least you got your Monkey now eh? Let's get your stuff, Ajali will be taking you to sacred Maasai sites, and you'll get to see the cave paintings. I hope you packed some practical footwear....

Practical Footwear. The words echoed in her mind, as Ajali helped her cart off the 7 pc. Louis Vuitton luggage set that she brought for the rest of her stay in good ol' Africa. None of which contained the prescribed footwear for "roughing it" in the Serengeti. She prudently mentioned this to her Father, who rolled his eyes and minutes later; garbed in a white tank top and khaki shorts, Sav suppressed the urge to stare at the chunky boots that her Father helpfully produced.

Trekking around the area wasn't too bad, in fact, Sav was enjoying herself as Ajali pointed out the areas where there will be great views of the animals.

Ajali: Tonight, you shall fall asleep to the roars of the mighty lion and the chuckles of the hyena.

Sav smiled, great, now I'll get nightmares about being eaten by the carnivores that are prancing around the area. Perfect this is... OUCH!!!!! The Monkey on her shoulder pulled her hair, and interrupted her train of thought.

Sav: Listen here buddy, you and I are... hey!!!!

The monkey grabbed the book from her backpack and climbed up a tree.

Sav: Hey you! come down and give that back!!!!!

The mischievous primate only cocked it's head and started to lick and bite the book.

Sav: (Grabbing a banana from her bag) Here monkey monkey, come get the banana... Come on....

This move seemed to coax the tiny beast, it came down slowly, but before Sav could grab her book, the monkey snatched the banana and climbed back up the tree.

Sav: GAHHHH! Come here you!!!

While this odd scene took place, Ajali was doubled over, laughing.

Sav: Stop laughing! Nataka...book!!! (I want.. book)

Ajali: (Surprised, then responded in Swahili) You speak Swahili?

Sav: (Sheepish) Uh... what's the word? ah! hapana (no) I ah... sort of studied in the plane a bit...

Ajali: (Laughing) You don't need to get fancy with me Princess. I speak English, so, your Dad tells me that you were born here, you happy to be back?

Sav: Yeah... I guess.

Ajali: I sense that you carry a great burden.

Sav: Yes, it's up there (points to the tree).

Ajali: (shaking his head) No, I know as much that you had a good life in London. What made you come to Africa?

Sav: I.. wanted a break, a little vacation. I was expecting to stay at the Ngorongoro Serena Safari Lodge. I didn't think I would be roughing it in a dirt camp as live bait for the lions.

Ajali: (chuckling) Your Father wanted an adventure. It's not very dangerous here. I've been here a thousand times and not one Lion has chosen me for a snack, but just in case, we do have that vehicle home your Dad purchased for your convenience.

Sav: A comvee? my Dad got me a comvee???? Great, he was really not kidding about living like the Wild Thornberrys.

Ajali: Wild Thornberrys?

Sav: What? big smart Nat Geo guy didn't have cable? (when he shrugged, she went on) It's a cartoon in Nickelodeon about a girl who has the power to speak to animals, whose family traveled around in an Comvee or an RV to film animals all over the world. Ironically, said girl also had a pet monkey (looking up the tree). I think my father is going all out on this for me.

Ajali: For the record, I had no time for cartoons. I was too busy trying not to get trampled by Paciderms. Anyway, why does the girl have the power to speak to animals?

Sav: Some Shaman gave her that gift and- (pauses as an odd look crosses Ajali's face). what?

Ajali: My great grandfather is a Shaman.

Sav: Really? Well, for the record, if I ever meet him, please inform him ahead that I do not want to talk to animals.

Ajali: (chuckling) you were speaking to him (pointing up the tree).

Sav: Ah yes, but I don't really want to know what he's saying back. Might drive me nuts... and-

It started to rain paper. Sav looked up to see her furry friend merrily ripping her book to shreds.

Ajali picked up a page that had fallen on his head.

Ajali: Ah... the tragic tale of Romeo and Juliet.

Sav: My favorite book too. Dumb Monkey.

Ajali: You have to come up with a name for your furry companion.

At that precise moment, said furry companion decided to climb down the tree to hand Sav a torn page: Sav read:

(Act 3, Scene 1)
Tybalt: Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford
No better term than this: thou art a villain."

Thou, wretched boy, that didnst consort him here,
Shalt with him hence.

Sav: (sighing while picking up her pet) Thou art a real villain Tybalt.

______________________________________________________________________



The sun was setting and Sav was completely exhausted from the trek around the Serengeti. She was able to see the Masai sites and view a couple of cave paintings. She discovered that Ajali, who not only looked like an Italian model with a lot of stubble, it turns out, he was a really deep individual who had the propensity to spout Swahili words of wisdom and proverbs. They were discussing her Father again, about his life in the past as a Defense Attorney and Ajali said something quite profound and amusing at the same time.

Ada ya mja hunena mungwana ni kitendoí

When she asked what it meant, he said "Public opinion maintains, a gentleman is judged by his actions." When she just stared at him, he added, "Handsome is as handsome does". When Sav started laughing, Ajali asked.

Ajali: What is amusing about what I said?

Sav: Sorry, you reminded me of Forest Gump. Handsome is as handsome does... Are you saying my Father came here to Africa to purge himself of his old life, because he felt that he wasn't really upholding justice by defending people who were guilty of the crimes that they committed?

Ajali: Yes. His dream did not match the people that he was representing.

Sav: He told you that? (When Ajali nodded, Sav added) Wow! Tour guide, animal expert, and shrink.


When they arrived at camp, her Father handed her a Satellite phone. When Sav answered, she was surprised to hear a familiar voice on the other line:

Sav: Hello?
Maddox Keynes: Savvy!!!!!
Sav: Mad!!! I miss you so much!!!!!
Mad: Me too honey! how are you?

Sav relayed her first day in Africa.

Mad: Ooh how old is that Ajali person hmmm? He sounds sexy.
Sav (rolling her eyes): He's 29. Mad, you haven't met the guy and you're already hitting on him.
Mad (laughing): Sorry honey, old habits die hard.
Sav: How is it over there in New York?
Mad: Well, Father is recording in the studio, I ran out for a coffee break. So, have you spotted any Lions or Elephants yet? I know you wanted to get your derriere over there to and I quote: "see the world" how is it?
Sav: the moment I got here I wanted to go home, I started to regret the whole thing, but I'm giving this whole experience a try. It won't kill me to AAAAAAAH
Mad: What? are you being attacked by an African tribe?
Sav (pulling Tybalt from her head): Sorry, it's my monkey, he's pulling my hair.
Mad (laughing): OMG! you really do have a monkey!!!!
Sav: Yes, unfortunately I'm the proud owner of a Capuchin monkey.
Mad: Ooooh like the one in FRIENDS. Ross' monkey.
Sav: Yes, that one.
Mad: Didn't it emmm... hump things?
Sav (recalling the reason for the departure of Ross' pet): Oh... I forgot about that. Great...
Mad: Well, you can always ask Jali to help you if Tybalt gets frisky.
Sav: Wow! you already have a nickname for him.
Mad: Come on Sav!!!! I'm single and ready to mingle.
Sav: I'm not setting you up with Ajali.
Mad: Well tough, I'm coming over anyway.
Sav (excited): You're coming over?????
Mad: Yeap, soon dear. Honey, I have to run. Dad and his mates are calling.
Sav: Okay Maddy.
Mad: Ta, dear. I'll send you emails every day till I get there... Wait, do you have DSL over there?
Sav: Yeah I think so, Dad has brought all the technology that we need. There's Satellite internet service or something.
Mad: Oh-kay.... just check your emails Sav honey and you take care. Sleep tight, don't let the Lions bite.
Sav: HA HA



After a brief campfire bonding session with Ajali and her Father, Sav entered her tent. She had a tiny bed flanked with all her luggage. She sighed and turned to Tybalt on her shoulder, "Toto we're definitely not in Kansas anymore". Tybalt cocked his head and rushed off to sit on her bed. "Hey, don't get any ideas furball, that's my bed!" when he refused to move. Sav sat beside him, "Okay, I'll share for tonight, but tomorrow you're going to sleep on the floor or I'll tie you to a post or something...."

As she closed her eyes the sounds of Lions and Hyenas echoed and Sav hid under the covers...

I'm in Africa with my adventure seeking Father, whose idea of a thrill before was maintaining his winning streak in court. I'm going to spend every day with a guy who is a quirky combination of Buddha and Confucius. Maddox is halfway around the world and my new best friend likes to pick fleas off of other animals for fun...

I'm Savannah Red, Get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOve & CHoCoLatES

I look at him and wonder what he's thinking about. He smiles and something inside me just melts. Melting like chocolate on a hot summer day. You see, he has the most beautiful eyes, that lights up as he looks at me, and I'm always awed by the warmth that I find in it's amber depths. Not a word is spoken, but a question is in my mind “What are you thinking about?”. He doesn't answer out loud, but in his eyes I see something, the warmth is spreading and he quirks a brow at me. As if reading his mind, I smile back, because I know what he is thinking about- I stifle the urge to laugh. Somehow we have acquired the power to read each other's minds, it's a rather odd thing really, but it is what ties us together.

We're both silent. He's sitting, playing with his DS and I'm trying to read my book. He takes my hand and we just sit there in companionable silence, which is often broken by the ruckus going around, we both look up and then continue with what we were previously doing, still holding hands.

We love to eat, I greatly enjoy those moments wherein he just spoils me with all kinds of treats. I enjoy stealing food from his plate and he doesn't seem to mind at all, in fact, he finds it adorable- there's that smile again.

I love those moments when I wake up and find him sitting on my bed smiling at me, then I fall back into the world of dreams, comforted by the fact that he's just there beside me.

Just like Sleeping Beauty, I am often awakened by a kiss. In my languorous state, I open one eye, and smile. “Wake up” he says, whining about the hour and how long I have been sleeping. Reluctantly, I get up, only to fall back into bed, ready to sleep again, but he helps me sit up, and I lean on his shoulder to sleep again. He laughs... “Wake up sleepy head...”

Every one seems to believe that you cannot have too much of a good thing- can two people actually be inseparable? Or to borrow Beyonce's popular song: Crazy in love?

I have read that love is overrated, it is biochemically similar to ingesting large quantities of chocolate. Let me break it down for you:

Phenethylamines are the chemicals produced when one is “in love”, (that is what gives us the “high” feeling). It is quite noticeable when a person is in love right? It's called the “cloud nine” phase, wherein you are just in a constant state of bliss fueled by moments spent or lack thereof with your love one, causing you to act like a total softie, floating on air high on the drug called L-O-V-E (scientifically: it's the Phenethylamines that is making you act all googly eyed). Phenethylamines can also be found in foods like? What? CHOCOLATE. You see, being in love is only temporary, because the Phenethylamines that are circulating our system only lasts the duration of 3 months (read that in an article), give or take- yes, the love drug eventually wears off. Which begs the question, is it that easy to fall in and out of love for somebody?

Answer: Yes & No.

Yes, why? Well, It's complicated. You see, there's the element called change, much like the circle of life, that causes mold to grow on bread and what have you, the same powerful forces cause people to change (or is it just human nature?)... Which basically diminishes the love drug. Translation: Sometimes the people we fall in love with... change, in effect, it causes our feelings change and well, people grow apart. In true blue shrink language: uhem...”That would be the time wherein the two people have to reassess their relationship and figure if that perceived void or crossroads in their relationship is worth fixing or it would be healthier for both parties to just go their separate ways and find growth in another relationship.”

Some people are just not meant to be together, it may seem like a perfect match in theory, but hey, take a look at the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston marriage and so many other Hollywood marriages (well, bad examples) but yeah, no matter how obviously great two people are together, sometimes it just doesn't click. Kind of like Ken and Barbie thing, they didn't choose to be together, Matel made them for each other and created the hype behind their romance. Long story short, couples just have to have that certain “something” that cannot be discerned by others, call it everlasting love or loyalty (whatever), it is something that they have that makes the relationship work, not some cover of perfection.

Now to the No, part. It is not easy to just fall out of love for somebody, because... although the love drug wears off, there's another chemical that keeps love alive- Oxytocin. It is what allows couples to have that bond, which increases trust and empathy- all of which are very important in a relationship. That, my dears, is the certain “something” couples share. It is what allows them to grow old together and still keep that spark alive- yes, it is a wildly idealistic theory, but it is plausible.

So here, I am eating a LOT of chocolate, and the only thought plaguing my mind, is his smile.... and his laugh...his...

He waves his hand in front of me, signaling that I have lapsed into one of my daydreams. "Huh?" I say... "What did I miss?" in answer, He looks at me, and there it is... The unpoken answer, "What was he thinking about as he looked at me???"

The answer to that... Is our little secret.

Si, this is amore...and a song plays in my mind...

When boy meets girl here's what they say
When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore
(When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore
Lucky fella
When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore, (amore)
That's amore

Living Vicariously: A Day in the Life of Savannah Red and Maddox Keynes - The Finale -

Maddox & Savvanah have left the Building.

Hello Dears I know you've missed me. Esereth Rageni Amari here, your saucy and impertinent blogger. Yes, Yes, the cricket sounds emitted by my blog has echoed to a disturbing cacophony, apologies. I just got back from my brief stint at the loony bin. Not exactly a grand tale that I would love to describe in detail, let's just say, I had a little "Girl Interrupted" episode. Enough said.

The last we heard of the fabulous DD, Maddox Keynes was in a sour mood due to an upset caused by a rather callous individual, and as usual, our dear Savannah Red swooped in to rescue her fab pal. Sad to say dears, this will probably (emphasis on "probably") be the last installment of the DD adventures. I'm quite sure this bit of news won't sit too well with fans of the dynamic duo, but alas! as the trite saying goes: "All good things must come to an end".

The DD were miserable - Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that their designer shoes were too tight. Or maybe their heads weren't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that their fighting spirit was becoming too small.

FLASHBACK

If you recall this little tidbit:
Vanity Nexus has assigned Mad to star in an awesome movie in Australia, while Sav has been busy with her journalistic duties in the jolly good London

Savvanah Red.

Sav, was specially flown over to London to work on a huge story about Harry Potter. She spent a great deal of her life (almost a year in fact) in merry old London, getting drunk on tea and pigging out on crumpets. Life in London was peaceful, and Sav made the most out of her living situation. She had a flat in Notting Hill, which was the setting of the famous movie named after the same area, starring Julia Roberts & Hugh Grant. She lived with a roomie, Molly McShaw, the starving artist who more often that not, came home stinking pissed (drunk) and if that wasn't bad enough, Molly had the propensity to bring home rather interesting companions. Sav was inured to the strange noises coming from Molly's room. The last guy Molly brought home, was an Italian (Marco) the street performer. The dude was a mime on the streets, but in Molly's bedroom, he was anything but the character that he played. As God as her witness, Sav totally undertood all the words that he yelled during his hot session of copulation with her roommate. There was "Dio", and "Inamorata", “Manico” and her favorite "Molly! Si, si, mio dio!".
Prudently, I will strike out the other interesting tidbits from that particular scene. As a rule, I like to keep things PG.
As some form of respite from her amorous roomie, Sav went out A LOT. She would be spotted at Buckingham Palace, trying to get a smile out of the famous, unmoving & unblinking London Guards. Sometimes, she would be walking around Hyde Park eating an apple, or she would spend a great deal of time staring at exhibits in the Natural History Museum at South Kensington.

It was a typical Monday morning, and Sav was walking down the street en route to the office. She had almost reached her destination when she was suddenly arrested by a rather disturbing thought. Now, I won't prattle on and on about what idea assaulted our gal's mind, but I will tell you that for the rest of the day, or for the months that followed, our Sav's state of mind veered off from sanity road to the express highway of crazy.
A series of rather unfortunate events followed, events that would put Lemony Snicket's dreary tales to shame. When it rains, it pours, and our dear Savvy was left standing out amid a storm sans a protective umbrella. Another disaster struck, her "big story" never came, and merry old London didn't feel so merry anymore. Sav spent her time shuffling papers and sending out emails, in zombie mode, unblinking, feeling as if she was circling the drain. Then the thought, that plagued her for months came rushing in "I don't know what I want....". The fire in her spirit had dulled down to a slow burn. Sav was in trouble.

Maddox Keynes

"CUTTTTTTT!!!!!" The director yelled, "Get it togethah Keynes!"
It was another typical day on the set for Maddox. Ten months, they were filming this movie, and it seems the work environment was as disastrous as the chaos that hurricane Katrina unleashed on New Orleans. As expected, the director was throwing an award winning hissy fit.
"Ye col dhat actin?" the man with the thick Australian accent yelled at Mad, a vein was visibly throbbing on his forehead.
"From dhat one tayke, I could'a flown to Cambowdia, adopted a chyeld, and raaysed him ta bee a bettah actah than ye!!!!!"
Maddox stifled the urge to rip out his hair, of course he was not going to resort to the desecration his glorious locks just for some temperamental SOB, but ye Gods! There was no pleasing him.
"Ows abouwt wee tayke a brek an' ye work on yer 'actin' ey Keynes?" said the director dismissing him.
As he turned to leave, Maddox pounded both his fists together in a gesture that he learned from watching an episode of Friends.
Ha! Shine dill! Maddox thought, smiling. Oh yeah, ten months in Aussie land taught him a couple of choice cuss words. It's been that way for Maddox for what felt like a flaming eternity. Constantly being yelled at by the bully testa di merda director. Almost every day he had to put up with the constant rant of "Keynes! ya bluming bafoon!" followed by a string of Australian expletives that would cause a Koala's ears to bleed. I want to go home, Maddox heard his mind say. Ever since he started working on this movie, his life had become a total train wreck. No matter how much he tried to please the overbearing director, not even raising one complaint - notwithstanding the tongue lashing that he got day in and day out, the gossip columnists and Paparazzi painted him as the "Diva". In Maddox's world that merda's not going to fly. He was "Maddox Keynes" dammit! he was the son of a rock legend (a forgotten rock star of the band "The Forgotten"), but either way, he was bloody Maddox Keynes, no one, treats rock royalty this way. As the Aussies say: Maddox, was “mad” as a cut snake.

Present

Spotted:

Maddox Keynes and Savannah Red at a Starbucks getting their dose of over-priced gourmet coffee and goodies.

Mad: So what will it be Savvy dear? My treat.
Sav: Hmmm I'll have an iced white choco frap thing, and a Belgian waffle.
Mad: (laughing): Honey, It's 8 in the evening, isn't it a little late for you to be eating a waffle?
Sav (shrugs): Sue me Mad, my inner clock is busted and I like to have my breakfast meals at night. I also enjoy sleeping during the day, and I get a kick out of drinking people's blood.
Mad (rolling his eyes): Having one of your vampire delusions again? Puhleez Edward Cullen would never bite you.
Sav: Honey, I wouldn't let that shiny disco ball vampire bite me.
Mad: I would.
Sav: Yes, and you'd bite back too.
Mad: (laughing, then sobered up to address counter dude) She'll have the iced white choco frap and a waffle, I'll have a warm caramel frap - por favor… make that for Savannah and Maddox.

When they got their orders, counter dude got them mixed up, and the cups were labeled "Madox" and "Savana".

They sat in one of those plush booths, sipping gingerly on their drinks and swapping comical tales about their lives. Savvy told Mad that she has decided to leave London to work with her father (the ex Defense Attorney turned nature enthusiast) in Africa.

Mad: You're going with your Dad? The Brady Barr wannabe, (trying to imagine Sav swimming in murky water) you're going to film crocs or something?
Sav (laughing): Yes, well, not quite. I'm going there for some soul searching.
Mad: Hon, you don't go soul searching in Africa. You go there to see the wild animals, or save starving children. Maybe do the whole destination plastic surgery thing, but not to do some bout of introspection. You can do that on a shrink's couch here.
Sav: I just need to get away Mad.
Mad: London's not far enough?
Sav: That’s not the point, and you know it. I just need-
Mad: More.
Sav: Exactly.
Mad: So that's it huh Honey? You're really going far away to hang out with Lions and Elephants just to see what the world is like? Why can't you just go to the Zoo?
Sav: (Laughing) Sometimes you have to lose something, in order to find something else - does that make sense? It's not the most eloquent thought I have, but that's it.
Mad: Uhuh...So, let me see, in short, you've lost your mind AND you're looking for another one?
Sav: Let's just say, I'm going to save the world Mad.
Mad: Yes, save the crazy girl, save the world. Gotcha.
Sav: Just support me with this why don't cha?????
Mad: Fine, fine… If you happen to spot a big fat gator over there, bring one back, I need a new hand bag.
Sav: (Appalled) Maddy! Don’t let my Mother hear that! You know she frowns upon the practice of slaughtering animals for fashion & etc. She is a PETA supporter tsk tsk.
Mad: Right, right, WAIT A MINUTE. (He turns sharply to his best bud, eyes narrowed) you gave me a snakeskin Gucci bag for my birthday last year.
Sav: (Sheepish) It’s a rip-off Mad.
Mad: (Sharp intake of breath) Say it isn’t so… Savvy it’s a crime.
Sav: (Rolling her eyes) Okay, so now that we have established that I am a fashion felon and that you are public enemy number one for PETA, what are your plans? You know, since that Oscar winning director loves you so much.
Mad: (Sighs) Father and his mates are planning on a come-back tour.
Sav: What???? The great Chad Britt Keynes and The Forgotten are going on tour????? Awesome.
Mad: Yes, yes, let’s not soil our panties now. Papa dear, wants yours truly to be a big shot music producer, and creative director for their music videos.
Sav: Get out! Wow! I’m just gobsmacked over here. That’s a ripper Mad!!!!
Mad: (Surprised) Well, well, look at you, brushing up on your Australian lingo.
Sav: Yes, yes, I’m a regular linguist. But Mad!!! That is just awesome news.
Mad: I’m not sure.
Sav: Aw… Come on! You know that director’s full of himself. Mr. Figjam.
Mad: (Laughs) Sav, you’re a hoot. Are you part Australian now?
Sav: No, I’ve perfected the art of “googling”. (dismissing the topic) Mad! You’re nuts if you stay in Aussie land and miss out on the come-back of The Forgotten, they may not be like the Rolling Stones, but they are legendary!!!!!
Mad: Yes, I know, that’s why by the end of the month I’m going to New York. Papa is working in the recording studio as we speak.
Sav: Bon Dieu! You did it????
Mad: (Grinning from ear to ear) Yep, I did it, I told Bucky Dex the Director to go (bleep) himself.

Well, in Starbucks they say that the DD’s shriveled up spirits grew three sizes that day.

Maddox Keynes left Australia, exiting the set clad in a white Armani suit. He packed all his clothes in his faux snakeskin Gucci bag, and kicked off merrily walking tall with his new white boots.

Savvy was done with crumpets, she never liked tea. She waved goodbye to the London Guards who were as still as can be. She left randy old Molly, and rode off in a stretch limousine. The only sad part about leaving London? Savvy didn’t get to meet the Queen.

When all is said and done, all good things must come to an end, don’t despair the DD finale, don’t grieve their fabulous end. Who said that their adventures were over? Why, the fun has just begun.


They bonded over shopping, they bonded over boys, they talked about "human reproduction", they laughed and made a lot of noise. This is just the merry ending, or rather a merry beginning, a new adventure starts, this is it ladies and gents-

Maddox and Savvanah have left the building.


As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever

~TTFN~

Living Vicariously: Eight World Wonder

"Seven days and seven nights of thunder
The water's rising and I'm slipping under
I think I fell in love with the eighth world wonder..."

Spotted:
Maddox Keynes driving his beemer (and fast!). There was a fierce look in his eyes and anyone who caught a glimpse of our feisty fashion maven (amid the blur he left because of the speed) would know that he was looking for trouble.
SHREEEECH!!!!
Mad stomped on the brakes as a figure clad in red stood before him. Exasperated he yelled, "Get out of my way beeyach".
The girl smiles, "Where dya think you're going honey?".
"Nowhere!!!!"
The girl quirks her eyebrow at him.
"Tsk tsk tsk... Maddy if you were looking for trouble, you just found it".
Maddox smiles in spite of himself, and signals the girl to get in. He sighs, "Now what?". Savannah Red smiles "Let's go run over that moron who had the audacity to bring a frown on your immaculate face".

Hell hath no fury like a fab guy scorned.

Savannah, upon discovering the plight of her best bud sends him the following email:

Maddy,

I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, I saw your My Space and that's when I knew something was wrong. Well, at least you found out early on before you were in too deep. This may sound odd Mad, but you should celebrate that you're rid of the scum of the Earth, moping over it is only good for a day or perhaps a matter of hours. Look at it this way, at least you didn't get to invest too much of your time with him right? Believe me Mad, you're better off without him, try listening to this song my the Sugababes entitled "No Can Do" it's quite hmmm... empowering.
It's alright to be pissed, learn from it and don't tuck it into your heart, you're too fabulous to become disenchanted by love. You're young honey, you don't need to immerse yourself into a world of passionate turmoil just yet, in German it is called Sturm and Drang, literally translated to "Storm & Stress" a result of partaking in rather tempestuous relationships. I'm not patronizing you dear, you know me, I'm quite nurturing and I love to mend your aches and pains. Bluntly speaking, screw him! He's not the only F-ing guy in the world Mad, grieving over flaming idiots is not something you should do - you're too good for that. I'm not saying that you're too good for anybody honey, but if a person were to be your match, your equal. He should damn well have the brains to know how to worship the ground that you walk on and not have the audacity to throw glances at other lesser mortals. Remember what Carrie said, when real people fall down, they get right back up. Strut your stuff honey, don't wallow in self pity or rage. You're loud and proud of it, you're the eight world wonder hehehe :)

Feel better Maddy, really, I can't stand not being able to comfort you. It's hard being here in LONDON knowing you're waaaaaaaaaay over there in Aussie land (AUSTRALIA). Do take care dear.

Love lots,
Sav

P.S. Don't you dare start posting shout outs or allowing that little worm of self hate wriggle into your head. You will find love, you just have to love yourself enough first. So that if a guy lets you down you can just say "It's ok honey, I can't be with someone who is not sure enough of himself. Being with me is a privilege, and you're just a moron for not realizing that."


What is an eight world wonder you ask?

It is something that brings out the following reactions from people: Shock and Awe. AND yes, those are the very same reactions that people display within the midst of Maddox Keynes. Son of a once famous Rockstar (of the band "The Forgotten) and a perky hotel heiress. Any one who dares to cross him will earn his fiery wrath and the lash of his biting wit.

"Excuse me????" he once stared down a worthless mortal standing before him who mistook him for an employee at McDonald's. "I'm frickin Maddox Keynes!!! Do I look like I work here????" he exclaims. Staring at him with all his lavish garb, it is quite an insult to be mistaken for a common fast food employee, which prompts the offender to scurry away like a mouse that has seen a rather ravenous feline.

MADDOX KEYNES, those two little words that tend to shock and awe.

The eight world wonder.

Don't get mad sweet pea, don't get even either

Nobody can bring down the eight world wonder

Just strut your stuff...

Don’t try to sweet talk me no more
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
What makes you think I’d want you back again?

And now my mind has been made out
And I have had enough
You’ve had your chance and now this is the end

You could’ve handled things a little differently
But now you’re on your own and you’ll be missing me!

Sorry, no can do
‘Cause you’re never really gonna make it better
So forget forever
Now it’s time to face it boy we’re through
‘Cause I ain’t got time for your conversations
So sorry, no can do

(Sugababes - No Can Do)

Pseudo Vampire Diary

Dear Diary,

It's 6:49 am and I'm still awake. Yesterday, I woke up at around 6 in the evening. I've become accustomed to sleeping when the sun rises, and rising when it's pitch black in my room. Truth be told, I haven't slept at night in a long time.

Before you start sharpening some stakes and stocking up on garlic cloves, let me save you from committing man slaughter, I am not a Vampire (I wish). Sadly, I'm not some blood sucking creature, albeit, to be honest, the taste of blood isn't that bad- anyway, my body clock is just perpetually working on a rhythm, a routine if you will, that I have set oh, for about 9 months now. My body has become habituated to this odd nocturnal lifestyle, and frankly, I don't mind being some pseudo vamp, it's not that bad.

I'm currently unemployed, ooooh scratch that term, too negative. Let me remedy that- I'm a professional house staying person, at leisure, workingly challenged, temporarily idle, on vacation, soul searching, and hmmm... studying to be a superhero.

I was planning to work on my Masters degree (emphasis on the past tense there "was"), but that agenda has been put on hold until further notice. Things changed, and in my case, it changed so fast, I was suffering from an atrocious case of whiplash.

So, here I am, in a constant state of self reflection and suffering from an overdose of otiosity. Not a very good place for me, anyone who has the misfortune (step in to deny this) of knowing me very well is very much aware that I'm not comfortable with being idle, add my obsessive-compulsive nature into the mix, and it doesn't bode well for the world of Trishiee.

It's 7:15 and guess what? I'm still awake. Somebody really has to chip in to get me some therapy, for sleep and for my deteriorating mental health.

I'm partly in a very good and bad place right now. Good, because I'm being thrust into this odd phase that is somehow making me desperate to decipher the things that I really desire. Bad, because, well, I have also been thrust into this state of bedlam and darkness.

I have realized that you should never depend on other people to provide for your happiness. It's common knowlegde that people aren't mind readers, and those who are, they have the voyeuristic disadvantage or advantage of knowing every thought in a person's head (not my idea of a good time). Digressing aside, normal humans are not intimately synced with our thoughts and desires, and yet we still feel surprised when they do something wrong - or perhaps it seemed wrong to us.

It's a simple fact that we are in charge of our lives, ergo, we are in charge of our happiness. However, some people (myself included) have lived their lives banking on other people to make them happy, and this is not entirely healthy. Hitherto, I never realized how horribly distorted my perception was about how my relationship with other people was supposed to work. Upon realizing this, did a great deal of reconnoitering.
I read from a book that only 10% of life happens to us, the other 90% is how we choose to react to what happens to us. More often than not, we end up blaming others for our misfortunes or we blame fate for dealing us an unfortunate turn instead of just looking into ourselves for answers and rising above the adversity as well as learning from our mistakes.

It has been repeated ad nauseum; that life isn't fair, that is a universal truth only to those who cannot find an interesting way to contradict it. Like, life isn't fair, BUT you can't let it stop you from living. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game that counts. Relatively, life may not be fair, but the only thing that matters is you lived your life well, by your rules, not as dictated by other people or long suffering cliches like "Life isn't fair".

I'm coming off as preachy, apologies, this is introspection right here- a very annoying side effect of being un- err... on vacation.
Recently, I became a witness to something that I certainly did not ask for. I'm guessing that it would prove to be traumatic for some, but since I've had my share of traumatic moments in the past, this just feels like the norm for me -or maybe I'm just thoroughly disensitized by unfortunate events.

The way I reacted for that particular moment was a tad disturbing. Somone was weeping in front of me, pouring out very difficult and personal details that was painful and what did I do during that rather disquieting moment? I just stared. I didn't reach out to pat that person's hand, or offered to hug and throw in some comforting words, I just stared unblinkingly. I felt so detached, which is so unlike me. I do have an over-developed saviour/hero complex and at that very moment, I didn't want to "save" that person. What I did was to clinically dissect every bit of information given to me, and I offered that person a plan of action. Instead of coddling and cooing and saying "Oh there there, you'll be all right" I gave what felt like an REBT session (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) this is a technique developed by Albert Ellis.

I did a report on that counseling technique back in college. In a nutshell, REBT is a form of behavior therapy that therapists employ to change their client's irrational beliefs into rational beliefs, which is achieved by the therapist disputing the client's unreasonable thought processes. This bit of knowledge has been stuck in my memory, and ironically, I rarely used it in real life situations.

"Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps."
~ Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book) ~

I've had the misfortune of knowing a few people who were in a perpetual state of self pity. Before, every time a person like that approched me, I would get this consuming feeling of distress. "How do I help him/her", "What can I do to make things better?"
It came to a point that I dramatically morphed into one of "them" a "self pitier" not my best moment, but ye Gods! that was awful. It turned me into a sad clown, I painted on my happy face, and kept the darkness inside. I still tried to save them but in the long run I broke. Literally.

For a month, I became an empty shell. Angry at myself because no one came to save me, after the "self pitiers" sucked out all the good out of me. When I snapped out of it, I felt like an army vet that came back from the war, seeing all that blood and gore was haunting, and I was suffering from a huge case of post traumatic stress. When those people came to me after my "break" I still got the consuming feeling of distress, but this time, it was different. It was a "Get the hell away from me" sort of distressing feeling.

I no longer felt the need to save them, first of all, why save someone who doesn't have the sense to save themselves? Second, it is a rule that when you try to save a drowning person and they somehow get it into their head to use you as a floatation device (try to drown you as well) it is quite all right for you to forgo the act of saving them. In short, your life, your safety, matters more. In my case, my sanity mattered more.

The epiphany was startling and simple, the power is inherent in all of us, to change our lives and turn our luck around. Other people may offer assistance, but it is up to us to carry it out till the end. Don't depend on others to save you, chances are, they might not know how to do so, and in the end they may disappoint you.

Life isn't fair. Here's something that sums that up nicely....

"People die ..so love them everyday.
Beauty fades.. so look before its gone.
Love changes.. but not the love you give.
And if you love, you'll never be alone. "
— L.J.Smith.

At some point, you will be alone. But there's a difference to being alone and strong to being alone and helpless. So, we just have to try to find that inner peace that allows us to be grateful for what ever good or bad moments that we have. We have to be whole first, so that when we give to others, we won't worry about getting something in return.

Well, well, it's 8:49. That's it, this is enough introspection for me. This vampire is going to bed.

"After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn... "
~Veronica Shoffstall~