Maddox & Savvanah have left the Building.
Hello Dears I know you've missed me. Esereth Rageni Amari here, your saucy and impertinent blogger. Yes, Yes, the cricket sounds emitted by my blog has echoed to a disturbing cacophony, apologies. I just got back from my brief stint at the loony bin. Not exactly a grand tale that I would love to describe in detail, let's just say, I had a little "Girl Interrupted" episode. Enough said.
The last we heard of the fabulous DD, Maddox Keynes was in a sour mood due to an upset caused by a rather callous individual, and as usual, our dear Savannah Red swooped in to rescue her fab pal. Sad to say dears, this will probably (emphasis on "probably") be the last installment of the DD adventures. I'm quite sure this bit of news won't sit too well with fans of the dynamic duo, but alas! as the trite saying goes: "All good things must come to an end".
The DD were miserable - Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that their designer shoes were too tight. Or maybe their heads weren't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that their fighting spirit was becoming too small.
FLASHBACK
If you recall this little tidbit:
Vanity Nexus has assigned Mad to star in an awesome movie in Australia, while Sav has been busy with her journalistic duties in the jolly good London
Savvanah Red.
Sav, was specially flown over to London to work on a huge story about Harry Potter. She spent a great deal of her life (almost a year in fact) in merry old London, getting drunk on tea and pigging out on crumpets. Life in London was peaceful, and Sav made the most out of her living situation. She had a flat in Notting Hill, which was the setting of the famous movie named after the same area, starring Julia Roberts & Hugh Grant. She lived with a roomie, Molly McShaw, the starving artist who more often that not, came home stinking pissed (drunk) and if that wasn't bad enough, Molly had the propensity to bring home rather interesting companions. Sav was inured to the strange noises coming from Molly's room. The last guy Molly brought home, was an Italian (Marco) the street performer. The dude was a mime on the streets, but in Molly's bedroom, he was anything but the character that he played. As God as her witness, Sav totally undertood all the words that he yelled during his hot session of copulation with her roommate. There was "Dio", and "Inamorata", “Manico” and her favorite "Molly! Si, si, mio dio!".
Prudently, I will strike out the other interesting tidbits from that particular scene. As a rule, I like to keep things PG.
As some form of respite from her amorous roomie, Sav went out A LOT. She would be spotted at Buckingham Palace, trying to get a smile out of the famous, unmoving & unblinking London Guards. Sometimes, she would be walking around Hyde Park eating an apple, or she would spend a great deal of time staring at exhibits in the Natural History Museum at South Kensington.
It was a typical Monday morning, and Sav was walking down the street en route to the office. She had almost reached her destination when she was suddenly arrested by a rather disturbing thought. Now, I won't prattle on and on about what idea assaulted our gal's mind, but I will tell you that for the rest of the day, or for the months that followed, our Sav's state of mind veered off from sanity road to the express highway of crazy.
A series of rather unfortunate events followed, events that would put Lemony Snicket's dreary tales to shame. When it rains, it pours, and our dear Savvy was left standing out amid a storm sans a protective umbrella. Another disaster struck, her "big story" never came, and merry old London didn't feel so merry anymore. Sav spent her time shuffling papers and sending out emails, in zombie mode, unblinking, feeling as if she was circling the drain. Then the thought, that plagued her for months came rushing in "I don't know what I want....". The fire in her spirit had dulled down to a slow burn. Sav was in trouble.
Maddox Keynes
"CUTTTTTTT!!!!!" The director yelled, "Get it togethah Keynes!"
It was another typical day on the set for Maddox. Ten months, they were filming this movie, and it seems the work environment was as disastrous as the chaos that hurricane Katrina unleashed on New Orleans. As expected, the director was throwing an award winning hissy fit.
"Ye col dhat actin?" the man with the thick Australian accent yelled at Mad, a vein was visibly throbbing on his forehead.
"From dhat one tayke, I could'a flown to Cambowdia, adopted a chyeld, and raaysed him ta bee a bettah actah than ye!!!!!"
Maddox stifled the urge to rip out his hair, of course he was not going to resort to the desecration his glorious locks just for some temperamental SOB, but ye Gods! There was no pleasing him.
"Ows abouwt wee tayke a brek an' ye work on yer 'actin' ey Keynes?" said the director dismissing him.
As he turned to leave, Maddox pounded both his fists together in a gesture that he learned from watching an episode of Friends.
Ha! Shine dill! Maddox thought, smiling. Oh yeah, ten months in Aussie land taught him a couple of choice cuss words. It's been that way for Maddox for what felt like a flaming eternity. Constantly being yelled at by the bully testa di merda director. Almost every day he had to put up with the constant rant of "Keynes! ya bluming bafoon!" followed by a string of Australian expletives that would cause a Koala's ears to bleed. I want to go home, Maddox heard his mind say. Ever since he started working on this movie, his life had become a total train wreck. No matter how much he tried to please the overbearing director, not even raising one complaint - notwithstanding the tongue lashing that he got day in and day out, the gossip columnists and Paparazzi painted him as the "Diva". In Maddox's world that merda's not going to fly. He was "Maddox Keynes" dammit! he was the son of a rock legend (a forgotten rock star of the band "The Forgotten"), but either way, he was bloody Maddox Keynes, no one, treats rock royalty this way. As the Aussies say: Maddox, was “mad” as a cut snake.
Present
Spotted:
Maddox Keynes and Savannah Red at a Starbucks getting their dose of over-priced gourmet coffee and goodies.
Mad: So what will it be Savvy dear? My treat.
Sav: Hmmm I'll have an iced white choco frap thing, and a Belgian waffle.
Mad: (laughing): Honey, It's 8 in the evening, isn't it a little late for you to be eating a waffle?
Sav (shrugs): Sue me Mad, my inner clock is busted and I like to have my breakfast meals at night. I also enjoy sleeping during the day, and I get a kick out of drinking people's blood.
Mad (rolling his eyes): Having one of your vampire delusions again? Puhleez Edward Cullen would never bite you.
Sav: Honey, I wouldn't let that shiny disco ball vampire bite me.
Mad: I would.
Sav: Yes, and you'd bite back too.
Mad: (laughing, then sobered up to address counter dude) She'll have the iced white choco frap and a waffle, I'll have a warm caramel frap - por favor… make that for Savannah and Maddox.
When they got their orders, counter dude got them mixed up, and the cups were labeled "Madox" and "Savana".
They sat in one of those plush booths, sipping gingerly on their drinks and swapping comical tales about their lives. Savvy told Mad that she has decided to leave London to work with her father (the ex Defense Attorney turned nature enthusiast) in Africa.
Mad: You're going with your Dad? The Brady Barr wannabe, (trying to imagine Sav swimming in murky water) you're going to film crocs or something?
Sav (laughing): Yes, well, not quite. I'm going there for some soul searching.
Mad: Hon, you don't go soul searching in Africa. You go there to see the wild animals, or save starving children. Maybe do the whole destination plastic surgery thing, but not to do some bout of introspection. You can do that on a shrink's couch here.
Sav: I just need to get away Mad.
Mad: London's not far enough?
Sav: That’s not the point, and you know it. I just need-
Mad: More.
Sav: Exactly.
Mad: So that's it huh Honey? You're really going far away to hang out with Lions and Elephants just to see what the world is like? Why can't you just go to the Zoo?
Sav: (Laughing) Sometimes you have to lose something, in order to find something else - does that make sense? It's not the most eloquent thought I have, but that's it.
Mad: Uhuh...So, let me see, in short, you've lost your mind AND you're looking for another one?
Sav: Let's just say, I'm going to save the world Mad.
Mad: Yes, save the crazy girl, save the world. Gotcha.
Sav: Just support me with this why don't cha?????
Mad: Fine, fine… If you happen to spot a big fat gator over there, bring one back, I need a new hand bag.
Sav: (Appalled) Maddy! Don’t let my Mother hear that! You know she frowns upon the practice of slaughtering animals for fashion & etc. She is a PETA supporter tsk tsk.
Mad: Right, right, WAIT A MINUTE. (He turns sharply to his best bud, eyes narrowed) you gave me a snakeskin Gucci bag for my birthday last year.
Sav: (Sheepish) It’s a rip-off Mad.
Mad: (Sharp intake of breath) Say it isn’t so… Savvy it’s a crime.
Sav: (Rolling her eyes) Okay, so now that we have established that I am a fashion felon and that you are public enemy number one for PETA, what are your plans? You know, since that Oscar winning director loves you so much.
Mad: (Sighs) Father and his mates are planning on a come-back tour.
Sav: What???? The great Chad Britt Keynes and The Forgotten are going on tour????? Awesome.
Mad: Yes, yes, let’s not soil our panties now. Papa dear, wants yours truly to be a big shot music producer, and creative director for their music videos.
Sav: Get out! Wow! I’m just gobsmacked over here. That’s a ripper Mad!!!!
Mad: (Surprised) Well, well, look at you, brushing up on your Australian lingo.
Sav: Yes, yes, I’m a regular linguist. But Mad!!! That is just awesome news.
Mad: I’m not sure.
Sav: Aw… Come on! You know that director’s full of himself. Mr. Figjam.
Mad: (Laughs) Sav, you’re a hoot. Are you part Australian now?
Sav: No, I’ve perfected the art of “googling”. (dismissing the topic) Mad! You’re nuts if you stay in Aussie land and miss out on the come-back of The Forgotten, they may not be like the Rolling Stones, but they are legendary!!!!!
Mad: Yes, I know, that’s why by the end of the month I’m going to New York. Papa is working in the recording studio as we speak.
Sav: Bon Dieu! You did it????
Mad: (Grinning from ear to ear) Yep, I did it, I told Bucky Dex the Director to go (bleep) himself.
Well, in Starbucks they say that the DD’s shriveled up spirits grew three sizes that day.
Maddox Keynes left Australia, exiting the set clad in a white Armani suit. He packed all his clothes in his faux snakeskin Gucci bag, and kicked off merrily walking tall with his new white boots.
Savvy was done with crumpets, she never liked tea. She waved goodbye to the London Guards who were as still as can be. She left randy old Molly, and rode off in a stretch limousine. The only sad part about leaving London? Savvy didn’t get to meet the Queen.
When all is said and done, all good things must come to an end, don’t despair the DD finale, don’t grieve their fabulous end. Who said that their adventures were over? Why, the fun has just begun.
They bonded over shopping, they bonded over boys, they talked about "human reproduction", they laughed and made a lot of noise. This is just the merry ending, or rather a merry beginning, a new adventure starts, this is it ladies and gents-
Maddox and Savvanah have left the building.
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever
We will still be, friends forever
~TTFN~
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