I don't know what to do anymore.
An aching sensation fills my chest and futilely I rub it, hoping for the sensation to fade, it does not. It seems to ripple within, causing my insides to churn along with the excruciating feeling.
I'm searching for a presence, groping for a hand to hold, something that will give me the relief that I need and free me from this unending pain.
I feel lost.
Walking aimlessly, headed nowhere, searching for something, someone, both of which I cannot identify.
At the end of the day I'm alone.
I've managed to save myself. I fought battles, weathered through moments of sturm und drang (storm and stress). I mended my own aches and pains, eschewing any assistance from others - I'm a veritable champion of self-healing.
But I do have my weak moments, moments wherein I lose whatever strength I have managed to acquire. I lose my steely exterior. The impenetrable fortress that guards my heart is reduced into a pile of rubble. I am exposed, vulnerable.
These are the moments that I need someone to be the champion, my champion. These are the moments that I abhor, because I can't seem to be able to mend the seams of my life when it has come undone.
Strength.
I need to feel that from somebody other than myself. I need that presence to envelope me and for that feeling of "comfort" to permeate my soul.
Home.
I crave to be wrapped around the feeling of home. A place where I belong. A place where I can run to and feel safe, protected, cared for, loved.
This seems to elude me. Whatever form of comfort I receive; feels fleeting, temporary, slipping from my fingers long before I get to hold on to the feeling.
The aching sensation grows day after day, and I lose a part of myself along with it.
I can't take this feeling anymore, I want to stop feeling altogether.
An aching sensation fills my chest and futilely I rub it, hoping for the sensation to fade, it does not. It seems to ripple within, causing my insides to churn along with the excruciating feeling.
I'm searching for a presence, groping for a hand to hold, something that will give me the relief that I need and free me from this unending pain.
I feel lost.
Walking aimlessly, headed nowhere, searching for something, someone, both of which I cannot identify.
At the end of the day I'm alone.
I've managed to save myself. I fought battles, weathered through moments of sturm und drang (storm and stress). I mended my own aches and pains, eschewing any assistance from others - I'm a veritable champion of self-healing.
But I do have my weak moments, moments wherein I lose whatever strength I have managed to acquire. I lose my steely exterior. The impenetrable fortress that guards my heart is reduced into a pile of rubble. I am exposed, vulnerable.
These are the moments that I need someone to be the champion, my champion. These are the moments that I abhor, because I can't seem to be able to mend the seams of my life when it has come undone.
Strength.
I need to feel that from somebody other than myself. I need that presence to envelope me and for that feeling of "comfort" to permeate my soul.
Home.
I crave to be wrapped around the feeling of home. A place where I belong. A place where I can run to and feel safe, protected, cared for, loved.
This seems to elude me. Whatever form of comfort I receive; feels fleeting, temporary, slipping from my fingers long before I get to hold on to the feeling.
The aching sensation grows day after day, and I lose a part of myself along with it.
I can't take this feeling anymore, I want to stop feeling altogether.
