Kissing Frogs

In the words of the song made famous by Rhianna

“But you put on quite a show, really had me going. Now it’s time to go, curtain’s finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining. – but it’s over now, go on and take a bow…”

In a world full of pretenders, it is hard to distinguish the real thing when you are surrounded by poor replicas. Or better yet, it’s hard to find your one true love in a crowd, your true Prince Charming when you are surrounded by actors putting on a show, telling you what you want to hear and doing things just to razzle dazzle you, but ultimately they just hurt you in the end.

Prince Charming indeed. The stuff of dreams, and nightmares alike.

I waited for my fairytale,

Waiting for Prince Charming to come up to me on his white horse

To take my hand, and to the sunset off we ride

The fairy tale ending is not as magical as it seems

Then my eyes opened, and twas then I realized

Happily Ever After was just a dream

Fairy tales are nothing but lies.

I held on to my happy thoughts so that I could touch the skies

But then a nightmare popped into my head

And propelled me off my bed

Pixie dust does not encourage flight

Happy thoughts don’t make you fly...

When I was thirteen I was obsessed with the idea of falling in love. Little did I know that years later that obsession has ruined me for life.

Back in the day, when the tale of the Princess and the Frog was told, it usually went “And the princess took the frog,, kissed it, and suddenly the frog turned into a handsome Prince”. Times have changed it seems, for in Disney’s remake of the classic fairytale, it goes: “The penniless Prince who was turned into

a frog finds a Princess atop a balcony gazing at a star, hoping to make a wish for her dreams to come true. He asks the Princess (but truthfully, it was a regular waitress dressed as a Princess) to kiss him, The “Princess” totally repulsed by this idea, stares at the frog and thinks “Uh-uh no, way”, but the frog Prince promises to reward her (when in truth his parents cut him off, and he has plans to marry a wealthy heiress), The “Princess” unaware of this, thinks of her own need for money, which will allow her to put up the restaurant of her dreams, so she reluctantly acquiesces. Suppressing the urge to gag,, she takes the frog and kisses him. Unfortunately, both of them did not get the outcome that they expected. The Prince was still a slimy frog, and in kissing the Prince, this turned our girl into a frog as well.”

The pair go off to have a rather profound and magical adventure with the aid of a talented jazz playing Alligator, an optimistic firefly, and a very vague voodoo lady. Of course, without giving much away, in the end, both the frog Prince and the Waitress were turned back into humans. Extracting the Disney magic and epiphany- inducing musical numbers, what did I learn from the tale? You can keep dreaming of Prince Charming, and hope to find him someday, but that whole kissing frogs and finding Princes is overrated. Here’s the deal,, like I said, I’m pulling out the Disney magic, taking it from the revamped story – when you make deals with a charming a frog Prince, who claims that you have the power to turn him into who he really is, a “Prince”, it would be wise to hike up your dress and run the other way. Lest you ignore my advice and go ahead and kiss him, you better believe it that not only will you end up with a rather charming frog, (who will never turn in to a Prince), you will end up a frog yourself.

You do not have the power to change someone, only they have the power to change themselves. Perhaps you may inspire, or become the proper impetus that will compel that person to change, but you will never really be able to will them to change. That is just a futile and horrible endeavor that will leave you dejected, or worse, irreparably broken in the process.

All girls, or maybe those who were (brainwashed) err… captivated enough by all the tales of magic and finding true love can attest that they wish to find their version of “Prince Charming”, which is akin to finding a needle in a haystack. I’m even thinking that the Prince Charming bloodline has been wiped out by callous unprincipled brutes, wannabe knights-in rusty armor, and clumsy court jesters who aspire to have their very own Princess, or in some cases considering Prince Charming is M.I.A they are lucky enough to land a Princess. Like I said, some (or all girls, give or take) want to end up with Prince Charming, but if they are not careful enough, they might end up with a frog masquerading as a Prince.

Come to think if it, it is an equally wonderful outcome to be found instead of being the one doing the finding…. Allow me to explain.

Every girl who saw Prince Phillip kiss the Sleeping Beauty (Aurora) sighed and wished for a similar fate (minus the menacing Dragon guarding the Castle, and sleeping for a hundred years of course). I mean what girl would not swoon over the idea of a guy braving the odds of goings through a forest of thorns, then facing the threat of being barbequed by a fire-breathing Dragon, (an evil fairy incognito to boot-) just to breathe life into you with true love’s kiss?

The best thing other than finding Prince Charming is if Prince Charming finds you first. – with the bonus that he has gone through hell and back for you. Hey, if the guy isn’t given a hard time, he will most likely treat you like his chamber maid and not like a Princess.

As my Mother loves to remind me (not this eloquently, though):

Men who pursue you have to work to earn your love. It is their privilege, not their god-given right to be loved by a girl like yourself. Make it too easy, give in too quickly, and they will either walk all over you. OR they will walk away from you.

Men after all are hunters by nature (popular culture seems to say so); they love the thrill of the chase, they love a good hunt. I mean how boring could that be if the deer just goes “Okay you got me, strike true hunter, I’m good as lunch”

Examples of the men who had to work to earn their Princesses:

Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty) hacked at a forest of thorns, did battle with a fire-breathing Dragon / evil fairy, and braved Aurora’s morning breath.

The Beast (Beauty and the Beast) after being cursed for his horrible attitude by an old woman,

The Beast a.k.a Prince Adam (yeah, he has a name) tries to work on his attitude problem while wining and dinning with the girl who may possibly be the key to break his curse. Throw in an angry mob or two and the knowledge that your life is measured by the number of petals on a rose, the Beast had some major work to do before Belle’s tearful “I love you” presto change-oed him into… Prince Adam.

Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid) manned a sunken ship to defeat the super-sized sea witch Ursula.

Let’s just skip Aladdin, the Prince from Cinderella and Snow White, the point is, the abovementioned Princes had to go to the moon and back for their fair maidens. Any girl in the real world who demands less is well, low maintenance, desperate, or is in need of a self-esteem boost. I’m not advocating male torture here, just the proper care of females. Females are to be cherished, not to be displayed like some collectible knick-knack and left out to gather dust till the interest wanes then you move on to the new and improved version of said collectible knick-knack.

Okay, where was I before I was waylaid by all the thoughts of how men bore easily and must be taught to know better? Ahhh…. Yes, the best thing other than finding Prince Charming is if Prince Charming finds you first.

In the film August Rush, August is asked a question that pretty much struck me in its simplicity.

Wizard: What do you want to be in the world? I mean the whole world. What do you want to be? Close your eyes and think about that.

August Rush: Found.

One word, five letters – FOUND.

In the end we all want to be found. To be cherished It is not really about finding Prince Charming.. That’s just a dream, an image of perfection that some girls wish they could have. All things considered, it would be nice to live one moment of being something special than live a lifetime of being nothing at all. That is what finding Prince Charming is all about, being special enough to get the guy, or being special enough for the guy to take notice. It’s finding that guy who can pick your face out in a crowd. The one who approaches you when you are huddled in the corner all by yourself. The one who really sees you, when the rest of the world just passes you by. Like I said, it’s about being found.

But then, some of us remain invisible, sitting by the corner staring as people standing cheek to cheek dance the night away. They comfort themselves with the idea of make-believe instead.

And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to
Without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near
Now I can make believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world would go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

Prince Charming, the stuff of dreams for those who find him, the stuff of daydreams for those who don’t,and the stuff of nightmares for those who unmasks the pretender under the handsome face.

Do we really have to kiss a hundred frogs before we find our Prince? The better question is, do we really need to find Prince Charming?

As the message in Disney’s The Princess and The Frog goes: What you want, is not what you always need. Ergo, taking the dream of Prince Charming away, bottom line, you just need to find someone to love, who will love you back- and if he happens to come with a white horse and a Castle that wouldn’t be so bad.