Bringing SEXY back

Now hear this, Victoria is not the only one with a secret...

Before I get right down to my main discussion, allow me to present a quotation from the movie entitled, Little Black Book (2004):

Stacy: Question how does a girl who falls, no actually jumps eyes wide open, down a rabbit hole, plummeting into chaos come out unchanged?
Stacy: Answer, she doesn't.

That quote is actually a reference to the animated film created by Disney on the year 1951 called Alice in Wonderland (I'm sure some of you are quite familiar with the tale). Now how is that particular quote relate to our topic in question?

Alice fell into another world where she met a hysterical rabbit, a disappearing cat, rude talking flowers, a grumpy caterpillar, pushy playing cards, and a psychotic Queen who wanted her head chopped off- the point is, anyone who goes into a journey like that is bound to come out somewhat "changed"....

What does that have to do with bringing sexy back? Everything.
You see, as little girls grow up and enter the real world, they are pretty much like Alice. Wide-eyed and utterly confused about the new world that they have entered. Growing up is basically the main issue that they have to face and well, let's face it, girls are COMPLICATED.

Let us define the word SEXY or better yet, try to guess which of the following best describes the word SEXY:
(and the discussion will be a little gender biased, sorry boys, the topic will revolve around the ladies)

1. Physically attractive woman
2. A woman who wears a size zero dress
3. Sexually exciting or attractive
4. Interesting, exciting, or trendy
5. A smart woman
6. A woman who knows how to stand up for her beliefs
7. Someone who is 18-35 years old
8. Someone who is totally flawless from head to toe
9. An alluring woman who knows how to command the attention of men
10. A woman who knows herself well
11. All of the above and then some

Here's my pick: number 11. Let us merge the words: beauty and sexy. Back in the day, a person was considered beautiful (sexy) if they were physically attractive, period. What? the whole backwards mentality is pretty much to blame for that. The ideal for beauty or sexiness actually would depend on nationality or cultural practices too, I suppose.
In China, women practiced foot binding, it was a painful procedure that left some Chinese women with deformed feet, but this was practiced to exemplify beauty AND sexiness- something about how the woman walked on account of her bound feet had an erotic appeal to Chinese men back then.
Here's another one, Corsets. Now a corset was made to tighten and accentuate a woman's body (it also served as a torture device in some ways- that's my own opinion). During the 16th to the 19th century (if I am not mistaken) it was quite the rage to sport a corset underneath one's garments as well as boasting a very tiny waist (about 18 to 20 inches).
Here's a working example of the corset being used (take note: corset's aren't totally harmful, that is, unless it is laced too tight):
If anyone saw the movie Pirates of The Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl, in the scene where Elizabeth Swann (played by Keira Knightley) fainted and fell into the sea (remember that scene?), well, she fainted because her corset cut off her air supply because it was laced too tight (probably by her servant).

In America (at present) beauty and sexiness has become quite twisted. You see emaciated models parading the catwalk. You hear news about models dying from an eating disorder. Magazines and certain hit shows like to plug in the idea that thin is in, and that a size zero is the perfect shape- well... that is, until this show burst into the spotlight.
Now this show redefined the words: beauty and sexy.

quote:

Christina: Since when did you wanna look like one of them? They're not even real! Real women snort when they laugh, they've got fat arses, wobbly up their arms, and get pms.

"Only fat girls say that being thin doesn't matter..." (forgot where I heard this)

Let me revamp Martin Luther King's famous "I have a dream" speech:

I have a dream that one day, the daughters of former supermodels (really hot women) and the daughters of architecturally proportioned (curvy) women will be able to sit down together at the table of sisterhood.

I have a dream that women will one day live in a world where they will not be judged by their exterior appearance or their dress size, but by the content of their character.

I mean, hello people? Size doesn't really matter anymore. I would be lying if I said that that I don't have days wherein I feel like a mammoth and wished that I didn't devour that second slice of chocolate cake and the cookies, plus the whole bottle of Coca Cola, but hey, I don't starve myself as a result of those "off days".

Sure, we are bombarded with all these images and advertisements about "thin" being in. We are given subliminal messages raping our minds that eating is some sort of sin and that a penance of starving, purging, excessive exercising or dieting, and cosmetic surgery will banish the transgression of giving into one's biological need i.e. eating.

It's not that exercising, dieting, and cosmetic surgery is bad- you can do that when it is necessary (health reasons) or at least in moderation. However, starving and purging is just plain wrong.

I once whined about, well, here's a quote: "I'm so fat" yeah as if that is original, I'm sure a lot of girls say that, but anyway, a guy friend of mine heard me whining and innocently enough, I heard him say: "What is it with women and their body issues? You're not fat, but I'm sure you're not going to take my word for it..."

He was right. I ignored him and pinched my tummy facing the mirror going on and on about how fat I was.

"I have a huge derrière" I once whined. My cousin responded, "Well, take it as a blessing, not everyone is born with J-Lo's a**"


"I have gigantic thighs" I whined again. A friend responded with: "So? Beyonce doesn't have chickeny noodle type thighs and she's mondo hot and Bootilicious..."

The point is people (ladies) we're not fat. We may have a light case BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder- look it up), but we are definitely not fat.

If you have watched any of the Victoria Secret Fashion Shows, you will learn that sexiness is not actually just about having a lithe and toned body as well as having a very alluring visage- it's actually an attitude.

Okay, maybe using Victoria Secret Models as an example does tip the scale in favor of the idea that "thin" is in... BUT if you think about it, the models that are used in their ad's are curvy. They actually have breasts and shapely derrières that fill out the lacy lingerie. Take Tyra Banks as an example of a curvy model (supermodel).

"For instance I have cellulite on the back of my butt. Now I'm starting to get it on my stomach and I don't like it-But I don't stay up at night obsessing about it." ~ Tyra Banks (in an interview with GMA)

You see, Tyra Banks is on a mission to change the whole "I'm fat" attitude. That is why she launched the "So What." campaign. The "So What" campaign was created so that women would cease obsessing about their flaws and feel fabulous about themselves.

SEXY is about being yourself- that's the bottom line.

You don't have to take my word on it, but if you're curious, here's my secret to sexiness:

1. Invest in very good lingerie (don't go cheap ladies) buy the lacy undies, push-upy type bras. If you think clothes are the best boost for sexiness, think again. It's what you wear underneath that gives you the total sexy feeling (wink,wink),

2. On your "fat days" wear black. It's slimming and it gives you a mysterious vibe. Red works too.

3. Buy clothes that fit you well. Don't buy overly tight or baggy clothing. You have to feel good in what you wear you know?

4. Make a mental song playlist (or listen to your ipod, whatever works for you) Like: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.... Or find some catchy tune to give you that fierce and fabulous feeling as you strut your stuff around town.

5. Love your body (it sounds trite, I know, but seriously love your bloody body). take care of it and worship it.

6. Eat. Eating makes you feel good, but don't pig out. Here's the rule: Eat only when you're hungry (if you're always hungry) eat half of whatever it is you wanna eat (half serving of pasta, half slice of your sandwhich etc.)

7. Exercise (this is obivious) Sexiness is also very hard work. If your body feels good, you'll feel good. I recommend Yoga. It's good for the body and mind.

8. Train your mind to turn your negative thoughts into positive thoughts (sexiness is an attitude). I may sound like a weirdo with all this stuff, but it won't kill you to try.

9. Work with what you've got. Don't fret that you don't have the body of a supermodel, you were born with that body, you either flaunt it or hide it. I say you flaunt it.

10. Stop obsessing about your body, it turns men off. What men want are women who won't whine about their bodies
Here's what I got from:

http://www.love-sessions.com/sexy_woman.htm

Putting all that sexual and seducing stuff aside, men also long for a woman who is Caring. This may sound funny, but men are looking for a hot, irresistible woman, with a motherly personality. They want a woman who will nourish them and take care of them emotionally, just as we expect them to do for us. So always listen to him when he expresses himself and do your best to show that you care.

Being Independent makes a woman sexy to a man. Men like to know that the woman they are interested in can take care of herself, has a good head on her shoulders and knows what she wants. If you do feel insecure about something, try not to advertise it in front of people. Keep your head up high, with a pretty smile, and then work on your insecurity when you get home or seek expert advice. When you and that certain someone enters your intimate stage, always remember that it is important to carry Sexy underwear beneath your clothing! This may sound like something you already know, but women tend to get lazy with it over time. If you want to keep him hooked, entertain with something sexy every time you take your clothes off!

11. Sleep naked.... very sexy.... or walk around your room (doors locked of course) naked. It's very liberating and totally sexy.

In the end ladies, it really up to you.