Bring Me That Horizon

Tia Dalma: The compass you bartered from me it cannot lead you to this?

Jack Sparrow: Maybe. Why?

Tia Dalma: Ah, Jack Sparrow does not know what he wants.



It was mentioned in the course of the trilogy (Pirates of the Caribbean) that Jack's Sparrow's compass had the unique power to point the the thing that he wanted most, of course, other characters in the films often thought of it as a compass that never pointed North and dubbed it to be broken. Hilariously enough, every time Jack held it, it often pointed to Rum (one of his many sources of joy, other than sailing his beloved Black Pearl), due to that minor inconvenience of being waylaid by his other desires, more often than not he tricked others into using his compass to achieve his clever schemes - genius really.
Digressing aside, no, I'm not here to narrate the colorful adventures of the roguish Pirate, Jack Sparrow, I'm here to perhaps offer my insights on life as of late. Taking note of the preamble that I have provided, I do not know what I want. I'd love to get my hands on Jack's Sparrows compass and have some semblance of a direction, a way to go, a bloody clue of what exactly my heart desires, but regrettably, it was only a prop used by Disney for the films, hence, here I am besieged with hebetude and ennui, at a lost of what to do. I'm like a sitting duck really, a ship stuck in the middle of the Ocean with no direction - I need that compass!!!
I know I'm supposed to be grateful for the things I have, as well as my achievements, but if you knew me very well once I finish one thing, I instantly move on to the next project. I can't be idle, I can't relax, I'm always thinking about the next big thing, I'm always craving for more, and I find it exhilarating. When things slow down (like now) I find myself drifting aimlessly, I suppose that is why I can't sleep anymore, or I can't seem to drift into a peaceful slumber - I want to know what I want. I'm drawing on a blank right now, which is just vexing.
Before it came so easy for me, when I figured out the things I wanted I pursued it like a ravenous carnivore stalking his prey, I always got what I wanted, and I never let anyone stop me. Ironically, I'm the one encumbering myself right now with all the bedlam in my mind. It's a new year, which usually means the slate has been wiped clean and I get to chart my course for this year, and sail on to uncharted waters and perilous depths - first I have to figure out what I want... (cue cricket sounds).
I'll have to get back to you my aggrieved readers, I need to battle it out with fickle mind to wring out my true desires.
How about I just prattle about my 2008 adventures or misadventures?
Hmmm... Highlights: We passed our oral defense for our thesis, I graduated College, got a job (got my first paycheck around May and shopped like mad), I met new friends, turned a year older, and officially I can say that Ray Go is my boyfriend.
Low points: Where do I start? (laugh) well, as much as I want to give free reign to my acerbic humor when it comes to discussing my lowest of the low moments last year, I don't really want to give those (horrible) moments any more power over me. So, in a nutshell, here are the series of unfortunate events: Family drama, Death, Scandal, more scandal, and to my everlasting chagrin, meeting the following individuals: spineless dopey-eyed cads, a stalker-ish man who is a menace to the English language, uncultured self-righteous gals, and vindictive slanderous haters. Okay, that's about it for now, I'll have to figure things out. I may not know what I want right now, but I know I'm going to rock at it.

So baby yes I know what I am
And no I don't give a damn
And you'll be loving it

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better...