Jane: How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.
Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open. Kevin: A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!
(27 Dresses ~ 2008)
Let's play a little game of word association shall we? Okay, what enters your mind when I mention the the word "Wedding", anyone???
To name a few, when someone mentions that particular word, the following things that are quintessentially mentioned would be:
1. Wedding Dress
2.Cake
3.Invitation
Let us break it down.
For some, (ladies in particular) the all consuming thought would gyrate around "the dress" it has something to do with the time old dream of getting to walk down the isle in that perfect "princess-like" dress, being the center of attention, and well, maudlin as it may seem, the fairytale aspect of it is what every girl wants.
Then there's "The Cake". It seems some people place quite a huge deal on the perfect wedding cake. A confection made of tiers and tiers filled with chocolate, or vanilla (or what ever flavor the couple decides on) embellished with edible gold, or flowers, maybe even jewels...point is, the cake will be a spectacle on it's own, and will probably require it's own entourage.
Another would be the Invitation, be it embossed, sprinkled with glitter, shoved in a bottle, twined with ribbons, printed with perfect calligraphy... it's all the same I suppose... but people seem to come up with ostentatious invitations, that are sometimes not necessary. I mean, All the invitations say: You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane (Soon to be Doe) followed by a lengthy list of names (and if you're Filipino) expect that all your relatives will be there, so, it will be one insanely hefty invitation...
The list goes on and on, so, I won't beat around the bush here. Some people place more emphasis on all the minute details of a wedding and tend to overlook the most important aspect, which is (at least for me) the couple, or for those who are actually the one's getting married, the most important part of their wedding is the person whom they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with - not the dress, cake, the invitation or any other rubbish. Notwithstanding the absence of the dress, cake, and invitations, you can still get married anyway, but if you did not have a person to marry or absurdly enough, if you think those things take precedence over your chosen partner, something is truly amiss there.
You see, when I hear the word "Wedding" one word enters my mind, which I find horribly disconcerting and maudlin at the same time...
FOREVER.
I think that's one of the things that couples and the general public seem to take for granted about weddings and the concept of marriage, it is binding, and technically unbreakable. In a sense that you enter it with the intention of spending your life with your partner, and live in accordance to the vows that you have promised to in front of God and your Family - To love, honor and cherish that person. In sickness and health, for richer or poorer etc. etc.
It's amazing how weddings have become some sort of sport for some people. Changing their spouses faster than they can change clothes. Accumulating discarded wedding rings and vows that have been broken after a long string of extramarital affairs, philandering, abuse, want of activities in the bedroom, and what ever issues that come up; that cause the demise of a marriage.
"My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no expense spared reception; and what he wants is to break off our engagement."
Sally Poplin
It's easier for most people to jump into marriage in a really devil-may-care way, regardless of their want of knowledge or maturity as they plunge into it. Others tend to run away from it like a criminal fleeing from the threat of his own execution, knowing very well that it is sometimes a tedious chore, and a bore to shackle oneself to one person for all eternity - akin to being served the same home-cooked meal everyday.
I tend to pity the former rather than the latter. The latter can change, and be taught to appreciate beauty of the complexity of marriage. While the former is sometimes in danger of regretting the whole experience due to the following reasons. 1. Lack of foresight and 2. Flaming idiocy (or naivete, depends on how you look at it).
People who jump into marriage tend to overlook the idea that yes, it takes work and yes, it is a bloody commitment, and no, there's no "do-over" button that will make it go away. So what becomes of these people? They either "grow up" in the process, and fulfill their marital duties to the best of their abilities (even if it kills them) or they fall into a downwards spiral of their fair share of indiscretions, like taking part in illicit affairs or developing a long string of self destructive vices like gambling, drinking, etc.
Again, in this day and age, people can just jump into marriage, and in the same haste, forsake their vows in some random moment of let us say... boredom or temptation... It's a rarity to find couples who are truly devoted to one another, who actually got married because they wanted to, not because they were coerced or were compelled to do it out of fulfilling an obligation, or because of some misguided belief that marriage is the best way to attain the happiness that seemed to elude then in their present relationship.
Maggie Carpenter: When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn't have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person's fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didn't go through with it because it would have been a lie
(Runaway Bride 1999)
Marriage is forever, I can't say that enough. You can hire the best divorce attorneys in the world to sever your ties with your husband or wife, but divorce can never really eradicate the fact that you did get married. You will have your memories, and time spent in that relationship that you can never take back. You can dismiss it as an act of stupidity, or throw in the "I was young and reckless" defense and perhaps in time you can marry someone else, but if you do not truly understand it's significance, what's the point?
"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage license made out to whom it may concern."
Mickey Rooney.
To be honest, when I am invited to a wedding (especially if I came into it knowing that the bride, but more often than not, the groom is usually the one who does not really have the desire to get married) I tend to place bets on how long they will last. How long before she drives him away, how long before he starts straying, and how it will be for me to be proven right yet again that weddings will forever be a complete farce. Personally, I think you don't need a piece of paper to tell the world that you are devoted to somebody, since we have enough people out there making a spectacle out of the institution of marriage as it is - incontrovertible proof that it is not the ultimate seal of hmm... "True Love".
So, you can spend thousands, millions even, of money on wedding paraphernalia, but if you have not honestly given much thought to the reason why the wedding has to take place, or if you lack the crucial sentiments attached to the person who will ultimately be yours for all eternity, then you might as well eschew the whole thing.
Marriage is not easy, heck, planning the wedding is a crash course in itself. I think you really need the intestinal fortitude, as well as the mental & emotional durability to get married. Because akin to going to war, should you go into it unprepared, it is likely that you will come out of it a changed person with a lot of scars to talk about, not to mention a great deal of post traumatic stress.
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
Mae West
I applaud the couples who are lucky enough to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversaries. I can't say that I'm ready to take the plunge, seeing as I am quite disillusioned by the whole idea, and have become a raving cynic to boot, but I think I will come around... I suppose it would depend on the person who proposes to me, if he succesfully illiminates all my rather neurotic fears about weddings as he delivers a rather profound & moving marriage proposal.
Hmm.... there is hope for me yet.
Ike Graham: [on the perfect proposal] Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.
(Runaway Bride 1999)
The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.
Kevin: I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane: Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open. Kevin: A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!
(27 Dresses ~ 2008)
Let's play a little game of word association shall we? Okay, what enters your mind when I mention the the word "Wedding", anyone???
To name a few, when someone mentions that particular word, the following things that are quintessentially mentioned would be:
1. Wedding Dress
2.Cake
3.Invitation
Let us break it down.
For some, (ladies in particular) the all consuming thought would gyrate around "the dress" it has something to do with the time old dream of getting to walk down the isle in that perfect "princess-like" dress, being the center of attention, and well, maudlin as it may seem, the fairytale aspect of it is what every girl wants.
Then there's "The Cake". It seems some people place quite a huge deal on the perfect wedding cake. A confection made of tiers and tiers filled with chocolate, or vanilla (or what ever flavor the couple decides on) embellished with edible gold, or flowers, maybe even jewels...point is, the cake will be a spectacle on it's own, and will probably require it's own entourage.
Another would be the Invitation, be it embossed, sprinkled with glitter, shoved in a bottle, twined with ribbons, printed with perfect calligraphy... it's all the same I suppose... but people seem to come up with ostentatious invitations, that are sometimes not necessary. I mean, All the invitations say: You are cordially invited to the wedding of Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane (Soon to be Doe) followed by a lengthy list of names (and if you're Filipino) expect that all your relatives will be there, so, it will be one insanely hefty invitation...
The list goes on and on, so, I won't beat around the bush here. Some people place more emphasis on all the minute details of a wedding and tend to overlook the most important aspect, which is (at least for me) the couple, or for those who are actually the one's getting married, the most important part of their wedding is the person whom they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives with - not the dress, cake, the invitation or any other rubbish. Notwithstanding the absence of the dress, cake, and invitations, you can still get married anyway, but if you did not have a person to marry or absurdly enough, if you think those things take precedence over your chosen partner, something is truly amiss there.
You see, when I hear the word "Wedding" one word enters my mind, which I find horribly disconcerting and maudlin at the same time...
FOREVER.
I think that's one of the things that couples and the general public seem to take for granted about weddings and the concept of marriage, it is binding, and technically unbreakable. In a sense that you enter it with the intention of spending your life with your partner, and live in accordance to the vows that you have promised to in front of God and your Family - To love, honor and cherish that person. In sickness and health, for richer or poorer etc. etc.
It's amazing how weddings have become some sort of sport for some people. Changing their spouses faster than they can change clothes. Accumulating discarded wedding rings and vows that have been broken after a long string of extramarital affairs, philandering, abuse, want of activities in the bedroom, and what ever issues that come up; that cause the demise of a marriage.
"My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no expense spared reception; and what he wants is to break off our engagement."
Sally Poplin
It's easier for most people to jump into marriage in a really devil-may-care way, regardless of their want of knowledge or maturity as they plunge into it. Others tend to run away from it like a criminal fleeing from the threat of his own execution, knowing very well that it is sometimes a tedious chore, and a bore to shackle oneself to one person for all eternity - akin to being served the same home-cooked meal everyday.
I tend to pity the former rather than the latter. The latter can change, and be taught to appreciate beauty of the complexity of marriage. While the former is sometimes in danger of regretting the whole experience due to the following reasons. 1. Lack of foresight and 2. Flaming idiocy (or naivete, depends on how you look at it).
People who jump into marriage tend to overlook the idea that yes, it takes work and yes, it is a bloody commitment, and no, there's no "do-over" button that will make it go away. So what becomes of these people? They either "grow up" in the process, and fulfill their marital duties to the best of their abilities (even if it kills them) or they fall into a downwards spiral of their fair share of indiscretions, like taking part in illicit affairs or developing a long string of self destructive vices like gambling, drinking, etc.
Again, in this day and age, people can just jump into marriage, and in the same haste, forsake their vows in some random moment of let us say... boredom or temptation... It's a rarity to find couples who are truly devoted to one another, who actually got married because they wanted to, not because they were coerced or were compelled to do it out of fulfilling an obligation, or because of some misguided belief that marriage is the best way to attain the happiness that seemed to elude then in their present relationship.
Maggie Carpenter: When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn't have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person's fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didn't go through with it because it would have been a lie
(Runaway Bride 1999)
Marriage is forever, I can't say that enough. You can hire the best divorce attorneys in the world to sever your ties with your husband or wife, but divorce can never really eradicate the fact that you did get married. You will have your memories, and time spent in that relationship that you can never take back. You can dismiss it as an act of stupidity, or throw in the "I was young and reckless" defense and perhaps in time you can marry someone else, but if you do not truly understand it's significance, what's the point?
"I'm the only man in the world with a marriage license made out to whom it may concern."
Mickey Rooney.
To be honest, when I am invited to a wedding (especially if I came into it knowing that the bride, but more often than not, the groom is usually the one who does not really have the desire to get married) I tend to place bets on how long they will last. How long before she drives him away, how long before he starts straying, and how it will be for me to be proven right yet again that weddings will forever be a complete farce. Personally, I think you don't need a piece of paper to tell the world that you are devoted to somebody, since we have enough people out there making a spectacle out of the institution of marriage as it is - incontrovertible proof that it is not the ultimate seal of hmm... "True Love".
So, you can spend thousands, millions even, of money on wedding paraphernalia, but if you have not honestly given much thought to the reason why the wedding has to take place, or if you lack the crucial sentiments attached to the person who will ultimately be yours for all eternity, then you might as well eschew the whole thing.
Marriage is not easy, heck, planning the wedding is a crash course in itself. I think you really need the intestinal fortitude, as well as the mental & emotional durability to get married. Because akin to going to war, should you go into it unprepared, it is likely that you will come out of it a changed person with a lot of scars to talk about, not to mention a great deal of post traumatic stress.
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."
Mae West
I applaud the couples who are lucky enough to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversaries. I can't say that I'm ready to take the plunge, seeing as I am quite disillusioned by the whole idea, and have become a raving cynic to boot, but I think I will come around... I suppose it would depend on the person who proposes to me, if he succesfully illiminates all my rather neurotic fears about weddings as he delivers a rather profound & moving marriage proposal.
Hmm.... there is hope for me yet.
Ike Graham: [on the perfect proposal] Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.
(Runaway Bride 1999)
Anna Garlin Spencer:
The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.
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