A Better Happy Ending

And they did not live happily ever after...
Wait, a minute... did I miss something here? Let me read that again.
And they DID NOT live happily ever after...
"Oh God!!!!" I thought, staring at that particular line in the book that I was reading.
"What the devil is going on here?"
I wondered, I felt like I was getting hoodwinked by a bloody book.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and decided to read the last line of the story...
It was still there!!!! I panicked, what is going on here? I decided to read it again...

But instead of seeing words, I saw the faces of the characters of the story on the last page. The couple were staring at me, and they looked peeved.

Girl: Get over it! We did not end up together okay? Deal with it.
Me: No! you always live happily ever after, you always end up together!!!!
Girl (rolling her eyes heavenward): Get with the times sweetheart, we live in an age of tough love. The fairytale age is over.
Boy: Yes, I suggest you let go of all your childish notions of love and grow up....
Me: (growing hysterical) This can't be happening...
Girl: It is...let it go...
Me: Why???
For a moment they looked at each other as if contemplating what they would tell the hysterical person (ME) to explain why the story didn't end too well.
Girl: We just need to go our separate ways, it's for the best
Me: But you love him... and he loves you!
Girl: Yes, but, you see, WE just..
Boy: just realized that our story is not going any where, we became different people, we changed (smiles at me sadly) That's life, we all deserve a better happy ending, it just turns out that it will be with someone else...
ME:But...
Both: Let it go little girl...



I should have seen it coming, the signs were there, but I was in denial.. They just weren't meant to be... I mean, they both loved each other & their love story was absolutely wonderful- they went through so much together, AND THEY DON'T END UP TOGETHER???? my mind raced "This can't be happening..."
"WHY??????????"
But then, I knew the answer, because I knew deep inside, it was inevitable...It wasn't that they didn't love each other anymore, something just changed...

I had to accept it, and yes, let it go...

In the famous opening words of Carrie Bradshaw:

Later that day I got to thinking about the issue of love & letting go...
We've all heard of the saying "If you love someone, let them go, if they return, they are forever yours..." but here's a contradiction to that quote, "If you love someone, hold onto them, don't give them a chance to slip away from your life.."



Which one is right????

When the relationship has reached a crossroads wherein both parties cannot agree on what route to take... do you just split up & go follow whichever paths you want to take?

When the bond has waned between a loved one and the moments have lost the "warm and fuzzy feeling" - would that be the time to just let them go?

Do you unselfishly let go of the person that you love in order for them to pursue their own happiness at the expense of your misery, or do you hold onto them even to the point that you silently know that it doesn't make sense anymore for the two of you to stay together?

I guess life is funny that way,it has a way of changing just when you don't want it to.
I guess at one point in our lives we have encountered moments with a friend or significant other wherein letting go was the best thing to do, but you just couldn't seem to wrap your head around that idea.

Once upon a time after a tumultuous end to a love affair that existed only in my dreams & in my mind, I found myself sitting in my room wondering about things that reminded me of a song in the Broadway musical turned movie Evita:

EVA
So what happens now?

CHE
Take your picture off another wall

EVA
Where am I going to?

CHE
You'll get by, you always have before

EVA
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom, that I'm hard through
and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me--and they do
So what happens now?

CHE
Another suitcase in another hall

EVA
So what happens now?

CHE
Take your picture off another wall

EVA
Where am I going to?

CHE
You'll get by you always have before

EVA
Where am I going go?

Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each sad occasion
But that's no consolation--here and now
So what happens now?

CHE
Another suitcase in another hall

EVA
So what happens now?

CHE
Take your picture off another wall

EVA
Where am I going to?

CHE
You'll get by, you always have before

EVA
Where am I going to?

CHE
Don't ask anymore



No answers came, and my question hung in the air "So what happens to me now?"
At that time letting go seemed too excruciating, I invested so much of my time pining away for someone who never fully acknowledged my presence in his life. I gave so much of myself- no, I wrapped myself up around the belief that he would one day see me as the person meant for him that when the final sting of betrayal hit me, I felt stupid and utterly naive.
"Let go????" I thought, as tears welled up in my eyes. "How do I do that???"
Deep inside I knew I had to do it for my sake. I held on the notion that I was finally going to live happily ever after with Prince Charming, but that dream crashed and burned because I realized that I was in love with a fool.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
(borrowed from Neil Gaiman)

I hated myself, I hated men, & I hated love.... I was so over it.

That's right, I never looked back...

You see, sometimes we hold on to things convincing ourselves that we need them, when the truth is, we are better off without them. We hold on to them because we don't have the heart to part with them- like a old childhood plaything, a blanket (blanky), a favorite pair of shoes that is all worn out, or a person that we have known for a long time (let's say an ex)- and by doing that, we never allow ourselves to grow. We stay on square one all the time. That is what we call a "comfortable rut" it is something familiar and comforting, but at the same time it doesn't contribute to any growth on our part. We are forever trapped in well... the past.

Like I always tell my closest friends "The greatest mistake we make would to forgo the plan of moving on with our lives as well as looking ahead to a brighter future filled with amazing possibilities. We eschew the idea of opening ourselves to the beauty of experiencing new things, and meeting people that will bring new prospects of love & happiness... Instead of all that, we do the dumbest thing by hurting ourselves by looking back and dwelling on the past..."

To borrow another quote from Carrie Bradshaw:

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

In short, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart..."

It's time to let go of the past and just live. I certainly didn't stay in the doldrums for long, I decided I deserved to let go of the one person who truly did not care about me and when I did that... I was surprised to find a person who not only cared about me, he actually loves me.

It's true, we all want a happy ending, and when it doesn't end too well with one person, believe me when I say that you will find a better happy ending with someone else...

Let it go......it's not easy, but it's better than living a life trapped in the sidelines watching life pass you by, which, by the way will rob you of the chance of finding true happiness.