Frost Bite

Question:
What happens when you hold onto a piece of ice for too long?

At first you feel the sting of the cold burning your skin, it emanates the freezing power of the ice, seeping into your bones, sending signals to your brain to send messages to the pain receptors on your skin then to your hand to let it go. Customarily, if you were normal, you would let it go, but what if you were one masochistic person? and you decide "Hell! I'm holding on to this". The longer you hold it, the initial sting of the cold wanes, giving into the feeling of numbness, the numbness eases in, and before you know it, your hand, or the part exposed to the ice has turned red- so, your mind chimes in: "perhaps it's time to let it go", but no, you hold onto it longer. Then your skin turns blue- you balk at the sight of it, but persevere, until inevitably it turns black... The damage caused by the ice is irreparable, unless you get skin grafts (which might cost oodles of cash) to replace the dead skin- you basically are stuck with your semi dead hand....

Question: Why did you do it?
I have a theory about it. The way I see it, humans both have the propensity to be either masochistic, hedonistic, or both. We are creatures who relish the idea of seeking pleasure, we all aim to satisfy our needs one way or the other, but on the other hand, we also perversely like to inflict pain- be it a gratuitous infliction of pain or otherwise- we do it to ourselves sometimes.

Question: Why do people jump to their deaths?
Sometimes when you're standing on the edge of the cliff, you jump just because you want to. You jump, because you're done being afraid of falling. You jump, just to know how it feels to fall... You jump, because for a few insignificant minutes/seconds you would know how it feels to fly and be free...
Perhaps common sense will catch up to them when they are greeted by the face of solid concrete or jagged rocks, but then, it's too late to turn back right? It's not as if they can fly their asses back to the cliff's edge. The deed is done, it's either they break their neck in the process, break a few bones as well as their already shattered egos, or simply... They die.


I have an eerie story for you.
I had this dream wherein I fell overboard a ship into deep icy water. What do normal individuals do when they fall into deep water? They try to swim up to the surface and try to stay afloat. I guess I'm not normal then, because as I fell and opened my eyes, the water was murky and spine-tingling-hypothermia-inducing cold! My body didn't react at all I just slowly allowed myself to sink, I didn't try to swim up, nothing. I just sank to the bottom. The cold enveloped me like a blanket, and soon enough my human frailties decided to kick in, my body rebelled as my lungs screamed for release, gasping for air. I opened my mouth (big mistake) water filled it, but still I sank, I didn't swim up. Even if my mind refused to fight, my body writhed underwater, struggling, gasping, choking, then suddenly, I was perfectly still.
A numbing feeling crept up from my toes all the way to my head. My lungs were filled with water, the frigid water filled my body and surrounded my heart, turning it to ice. Somehow, my soul/spirit flowed out and I watched mutely in fascination as my lifeless body floated to the bottom of the ocean.

Question: Why didn't I fight?
Was it because of the thrill of surrender or just embracing the reckless abandon of it all? Did I give up on life or did I crave death? Or is it simply because I can't swim at all? Hmmm... Dare you seek out the answers, I might shock you.

Like I said, human beings have a propensity to either be hedonistic or masochistic. I allowed myself to drown, hypothetically speaking, because a. I just wanted to drown to & b. because the pain that came with drowning (choking and have water filling my lungs) was an act of ether punishing / freeing myself. The theory stands, I am hedonistic & masochistic.

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
Youre frozen
When your hearts not open
~Madonna~