What am I trying NOT to say?

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."

~Oscar Wilde (The Portrait of Dorian Gray)~

I bet you're curious, wondering what I'm thinking about right now. Here I go again, I mutter under my breath, as a dangerous thought enters my mind. I have nothing to say, so, I won't say a word about it, lest I should unleash my own version of the contents of Pandora's box into the world. All I have are words to a song, a thousand songs actually, but I managed to filter out the one's that will convey the profundity of my thoughts...

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away But every now and then you come to mind Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game But when your name was called, you found a place to hide When you knew that I was always on your side Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent But your demons and your angels reappeared Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be Leavin' me with no place left to go from here Leavin' me so many questions all these years...

I know, I'm back to square one again, allowing myself to enter this impermeable brooding state, stuck in the doldrums.

Over It – Katherine McPhee

I'm over your lies, and I'm over your games. I'm over you asking me, when you know I'm not okay. You call me at night, and I pick up the phone. And then you be telling me, I know your not alone. ohh.. Thats why (your eyes) I'm over it (your smile) I'm over it (realize) I'm over it I'm over it I'm over.. Wanting you, to be wanting me. No that ain't no way to be. How I feel, read my lips, because I'm so over.. Moving on, its my time, you never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over. I'm so over it..

This is not the first time that I will put this in writing, I am a hazard to myself, (whew) that wasn't so hard... I ought to be locked up in a room with padded walls and restrained by a straight jacket or something. I shouldn't be left alone with me ha! Does that even make sense? Much like Niki Sanders from the popular series “Heroes” I have this alter ego that well, she doesn't go around killing people, but if looks could kill, I'd be a mass murderer by now...

Makeover – David Cook

Lost her way from everything she swore she knew, a friend
Run away from start to finish though it never ends
In her mind she is blinded by all she sees
Close your eyes; just pretend the bullet isn't there
No surprise; no need to pretend that no one really cares
But in her eyes you will find the very best in me

What are you looking for?
Are you looking for something more?
It's not me
It's not me

Here I am again, thinking about.. Well, that... The voice in my head is telling me to unleash all of this pent up frustration over... BLANK, but why? Who exactly is to blame for the reemergence of this rather interesting thought in my head? I should be blaming myself right? I bet you are positively clueless right now, wondering what in the world am I talking about? Emm... I have no clue either, it's the OCD, it bugs me ad nauseum, and I'm still learning how to rein in the obsessive thoughts... I'm not throwing in the towel, though it is quite tempting to relinquish this... insufferable... feeling?

The temptation is unbearable, I think I did yield to it, which brought about my imminent demise... emotionally. Hmm... I think I'm giving my secret away with all these details. Have you figured it out yet? The root of my temptation? It's not hard really... I want to be over it, but I can't, and it is always by my side, I tried to change and get a makeover, but it turns out this torment that I'm going through is far from over...

Over – Lindsay Lohan

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time
You're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel, the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time I've wasted
Trying to find a reason for goodbye

I can’t live without you
Can’t breathe without you
I’m dreamin' bout you
Honestly, tell me that it’s over...