Waiting to Exhale

Here's a quick narrative of a very VIVID dream I had the other day...

I opened my eyes and noticed that it was dark outside, there were no lights in my room, and I realized that I had fallen asleep. I woke up to a beautiful sound, a sound that heralded the promise of life for the Earth, for me it only stimulated long buried memories, memories of a much more simple time in my life that has long gone by. I don't know why, but as soon as I heard the sound, I stood up and quickly bolted outside my room, I ran as fast as I could ignoring the puzzled stares that greeted me along the way...
I ran outside with my arms outstretched allowing the rain to pour over me. Yes, it was raining...
I stared up at the murky sky covered with feathery gray clouds amid the inky darkness of the night sky, the stars were carefully hidden, but I stared at the sky anyway knowing that they were there. The torrents of raindrops drenched me, I closed my eyes allowing it to simply wash over me, the cold water traveled the path down my head, to my neck, down to the valley of flesh that covered my heart, to my legs, then to my feet. "What was I doing?" I asked myself, no answer came to me. I just stood there in the rain and it felt wonderful.
With my eyes still closed, I sighed. "I could stand here all night, without a care in the world...". This was my version of heaven, standing in the rain allowing the rest of the world to disappear. Finally, I found peace, I sighed again.


Perhaps I spoke to soon, for my new-found peace was shattered by an amused laugh, I was about to open my eyes to see who it was who dared to intrude on my solitude, but then a piece of cloth covered my eyes and a hand covered my mouth. "Don't scream" a voice whispered in my ear, it sounded amused. "I'm going to let you go, only if you promise not to speak or to uncover your eyes...". I nodded, then I was released. In the darkness of my mind several questions fired, the moment I heard the voice I knew who it was, but I was too incredulous at the moment. "He shouldn't be here..." my mind told me. I just stood motionless wondering what he was doing, questioning the reason behind his silence. I knew he was standing just inches away from me, I also knew that he was staring, for I had an unnerving feeling that his eyes were burning my face.
The rain poured endlessly and we just stood there like two statues. I didn't speak, nor open my eyes, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have anything to say, nor would I have the courage to look at him. I felt him move closer, and my heart raced, I felt him take my hand, and unbeknown to me, I stopped breathing. He chuckled, "Breathe..." I exhaled quickly, but said nothing. He rubbed his thumb on my knuckles, sending currents of electricity down my spine, I restrained myself, but I shivered anyway. He chuckled again, "Cold?". I shrugged, "Do you know why I'm here?" he asked, I shook my head.
He was silent again, probably staring at me, only God knows why he does that, my face can't be that fascinating. I suddenly felt him move a bit, and he let go of my hand. I sighed in relief thinking that he was going to leave, what he did next made me take leave of my senses. Mutely, he traced my face using his index finger- from my forehead, to my nose, to each eyelid - my heartbeat went berserk as he reached my lips and lingered there. "What are you doing? Please stop" I thought, my mind panicking. As if he read my mind, he answered, "Don't worry, I'm simply conducting an experiment...". "What experiment????" the words burst out before I had time to prudently keep my emotions in check.
He laughed, "Are you afraid of what I might do?" there was amusement in his voice, his finger traced my lips again, "Just go along with me, and let me remind you again that you promised not to talk...". He resumed his little experiment, and his finger traveled to my chin, then my neck. My heart rammed into my chest as he traced the sensitive part just bellow my neck, tracing my collar bone, I gasped as he planted a quick kiss on the hollow area where the two collar bones met. "STOP" my mind screamed. He chuckled, as if sensing my distress. He took both my hands and placed them on his face. "What was he doing?" then as if my hands had a mind of their own, unbidden, I was shocked as they mimicked what he did to me, except both were used to trace his face. I could feel his breath coming out ragged, unaware that my own breathing was the same. Both my thumbs were close to his lips, and it seemed my hands stilled, afraid to go any further. His face moved, and I was acutely aware that he was smiling. He took both my hands and set them aside, placing his own hands on my face, he leaned his forehead on mine and spoke:
"Stop running away from me...Stop pushing me away... I want-". All the while my eyes were still closed, he was too close to me, even as the rain poured, I felt his warmth, his little assault on my senses, left me weak and dizzy. I could not seem to breathe properly, and if my heart didn't beat any faster, I could have sworn that I was a sure candidate to be diagnosed with Tachyarrhythmia.
"What do you want, what do you want to do huh???" I asked in a strangled voice. He sighed, "Believe me, you don't want to know what I want, more's the pity about knowing about what I want to do...". This should have silenced me, the warning in his voice should have sent messages to my brain telling me to just shut up, but then. "Why don't you just do what you came here to do, and get it over with" I bit out - and then, my heart suddenly pounded harder, as I felt his hands pull my face forward as he crushed his lips onto mine.
I should have stopped him, but I didn't, I should have pushed him away, but I wrapped by arms around his neck instead- my gravest sin had to be saved for last by my conscience, I should have stilled my lips instead of kissing him back....
The world was spinning, pinning me to that moment, it was still raining, but the sound seemed so far away. It was wrong, but it wickedly felt right. When the kiss ended, it felt like I was submerged in water for a while, and I was finally able to come up for air.
We were silent, then I felt him take off the blindfold. "Don't open your eyes yet.." he leaned his forehead onto mine again, "I want you to know that you're the only one I want, you're the only one who matters to me, everything else ceased to be of substance in my life the day I met you. I want you to know that you are my life now. You can keep fighting that fact, but that's it, I have said it, and I'm not taking it back. I need you, perhaps, not as much as you need me, or you seem to forbid yourself to need me, but I'm here, here, needing you, wanting you to need me as well. You're not getting rid of me so easily, I won't let you. Do your worst, I assure you I don't scare easily. I will fight for you, even if I will be fighting against you, against your doubts, fears, and your own demons. I'm not going anywhere, and you can't make me leave...."
His words petrify and stun me at the same time. "I'm here...." he said, simply, and then borrowed a few lines from Notting Hill.

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl asking her to love him..."

That's when I opened my eyes and saw his face, his expression was inscrutable, but his eyes, his eyes told a different story. In his eyes, I found my answer as to why I loved the rain. The rain is the beacon of hope for the Earth and it's lands, especially the soil that has dried up, suffocated by the intense heat. The rain breathes life to a land ravaged by the absence of vapor, which causes drought. You can't hear it, but when the first drops of rain touch the dry Earth, it breathes, exhaling in relief after inhaling the breath of life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With that realization, in a way I knew that I'm the land that has been besieged by years of drought and devastation, and he is the rain bringing with him the hope of life.
So, there I was staring into his eyes, eyes that conveyed the truth of his words, and his promise. I had no fight left in me, I was tired of running away, so I surrendered. I stretched out my arms like what I did for the rain. I wrapped my arms around him, and there in that moment standing in the rain, with him, as the Earth breathed in new life, I gave in to my hope, the Earth & I exhaled.....