Sex And... The Girl

Carrie: "Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's and no one has affairs to remember."

I'm no Carrie Bradshaw, let's just clear that up...

As requested by a very good pal of mine, I am going to write about, uhemm.... SEX.

Back to Carrie Bradshaw- my friends told me that in some ways, I am just like her...


Carrie Bradshaw Checklist:
- Writer (check)
- Gal Pal Gang (check)
- Afraid of commitment, but longs for love (check)
- Had a Mr. Big (check) - had, as in past tense. I don't intend to marry that Goob.
- Fashionista (uh... not that much)

Okay, let us not complete the Carrie B. inventory...

Moving on...

I'm a writer (not a professional mind you), but yeah a writer all in the same. I rant about my life- certain experiences (especially about men BUT that was in the past dear readers and I didn't have a blog back then) and if my blogs don't prove I'm a uhem... (humility aside) kickass writer then, hmm... nope, I've got no smart aleck comment for that.
To continue, just like Carrie, I had this vague relationship (I don't even think it can be construed as a relationship) with a guy named "John" he was my "Big" (just a heads up, Big's real name is John James Preston) so yeah, I had a "Big" of my own too.
Back in high school- Sex And the City was pretty big, I had (I still have) very good friends who in their own small way are just like Carrie's girl posse: Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha.
We had our own odd, thrilling, and heartbreaking encounters with the opposite sex (minus the SEX). I wrote and mused about our adventures in true Carrie fashion... in my journals (not a posh laptop- I'm working on getting one).

So here's the deal ladies and gents, I was tasked to blog about this seemingly interesting, delicious? and often times scandalizing topic. This blog is coming from the lips of a babe (as in baby) since I do not have any real experience with uh... SEX.
I'm not much of a prude nor am I a wanton- I have been raised a Catholic and aside from my parents instilling the fear of God in me, earthly assistance has been provided by my unscrupulous relatives with their philandering and flagrant acts of debauchery, resulting in the siring of illegitimate heirs followed by shotgun weddings (or no wedding at all).
ALL OF THAT has traumatized me enough to eschew the unknown and euphoric pleasures of the flesh...

WAIT, this is supposed to be about SEX right?

I know, my intro does put a damper on things. Call me old-fashioned, For me, SEX is not exactly on the top of my "to do" (pardon the pun) list, and I'm quite alright with the whole waiting-till-marriage bid. Not because It's a sin and all that to sleep around, I just don't want to complicate my life with IT. It's a psychological thing, I think I have developed a dysfunctional view on SEX due to things I have witnessed growing up.

Here's how it works:

SEX = Babies = Marriage

Married Relative + Sex with another woman = heartbreak, deceit, hurt wife, heartbroken children.

Cousin + Sex (with one girl) + Sex (with another girl) + Sex (getting another girl pregnant) = heartbreak, babies and Marriage.

SEX = pain, deception & heartbreak.
Marriage = Lie

Twisted huh? But yeah, you can't blame me for developing that kind of mind-set. My Mother will probably gut me if she learns that I'm talking about this, but I think I deserve (as well as the general public) to be given an unadulterated glimpse into the world of SEX- perhaps an objective dissection is in order, sans my reservations about the whole thing.

Here goes...

I am fascinated by Sex and this fascination is satisfied through my various research work- For the record, I'm not brazen enough to go for the hands on research. So, I derive my knowledge on the topic in question from several books.

Here's one: The Lost Diary of Don Juan by Douglas Carlton Abrams. A book about the world's greatest lover, narrating his amorous exploits and thrilling adventures beneath the sheets and up the skirts of the women of Sevilla. One quote struck me. (this is not verbatim by the way. I'm paraphrasing)

"Desire is the world's oldest battle, Women valiantly try to protect their chastity, while men do everything in their power to steal it"

Here's another one (not from the book)

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp

Observation:

We (or at least half of the population) bewail the injustices, tragedies (or whatever unpleasant experiences you can think of) that is generated by engaging in Sexual acts. I am clearly one of them.
You see, the Catholic Church believes that one's virginity (Chastity and what not) is sacred and should be kept under lock and key.

Since time began (or at least from most of the books I've read) lets say from the 16th to the 19th century- that particular time frame was marked by a myriad of glorious progress in world of fashion, art, architecture, and, ah literature...

Let's give literature the center stage here. In that time frame, several tales spread about famous libertines and courtesans, flaunting their prowess in the passionate and intoxicating art of "Love making" (SEX).

And they are:

1. Don Juan (Spanish) and Don Giovanni (Italian)
is a legendary, fictional libertine whose story has been told many times by many writers. Don Juan is used synonymously for "womaniser", especially in Spanish slang.

2. Giacomo Girolamo Casanova de Seingalt
So famous a womanizer was he that his name remains synonymous with the art of seduction and he is sometimes called "the world's greatest lover".

* source(s):
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Juan
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giacomo_Casanova

That covers the "libertines" (a fancy word for "man-whore")- I'll elucidate as we move along.

As for the courtesans (a fancy word for uhem... prostitute or mistress) we have:

1. Madame de Pompadour (1721–1764) - the famous mistress and long time favorite of King Louis XV

(I can see the question mark on the top of your head. Yes she's not as famous as Don Juan or Casanova).

I had the tremendous foresight to know that it would be a challenge to present female examples, since men are awarded more glory for their amorous exploits, while women are expected to keep their affairs a secret in fear of being ostracized and bearing the scars public persecution (the double-standard still applies today actually).

So here's a more famous courtesan in the form of Nicole Kidman (No, she's not a courtesan!) but she played one, her character: "Satine" in the movie Moulin Rouge back in 2001.
* source(s):
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtesans#17th_century_and_before
2. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203009/

So there, the reputations of these individuals (fictional or otherwise) have threatened the very foundations of one of the golden rules set by the Catholic faith i.e- living a chaste life (Pure, innocent, untouched etc.) not veering off the boundaries of propriety and decorum.
In theory, the aforementioned individuals have successfully obliterated that golden rule and left the door open to present day indiscretions (not proven though, but it's a good theory). Which begs the question: Is sex the root of all evil?

Common Facts:

1. It causes men and women to stray from the path of good (according to the Catholic Church).
2. It causes men and women to be unfaithful.
3. If done out of wedlock, it is an immoral act devoid of meaning.
4. It causes men (this may apply to women too) to voilate the rights of others by committing rape or sexual harrassment.

(feel free to add more)

Question: Is sex really to blame here?

The answer, No. The fault, my dear readers does not lie in the act of procreation (a.k.a SEX) the fault lies in the people who take part in it.

How's that for objective?

Here are some quotes:

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

Billy Crystal

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, its' the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them." ~ Unknown

“Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go” ~ Unknown

What is there to conlcude really? Sex is subjective.

Samantha: "I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once." - "Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl"

In this new age, SEX is not seen as taboo that much. People are free to express themselves and yes, people do have sex in public (mile-high club anyone?).

To close this rather lengthy discussion, allow me to quote Carrie Bradshaw on my take on sex.

Carrie: "It's not my favorite thing on the menu offered by life, but I'll order it when I do get the time."

-uhem... and when I'm done with therapy hahaha