Sh*t Happens

I apologize for the title, I suppose it may sound offensive to others (hence the apology). Let me just warn you ahead that there will be very colorful language added to this entry (who knew? I can versatile writer after all).

Truly, I am not the type of person who swears like a sailor. Rambling aside, I just felt like saying "Sh*T Happens" (trust me, I do have a point to convey here), because when things go wrong, that's is the first thing that usually comes out of people's mouths.

"Oh Sh*t I'm late", "Sh*t I can't believe this...", "I got fired. What a load of crap" - (that is still Sh*t by the way)

Get what I mean? It's a crude way of saying that life is unfair... Don't get it? Okay, pop quiz:

What was Alanis Morisette really trying to say in the song "Ironic"?
Read between the lines...

An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic ... don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought ... it figures

What is she trying to say? "Life is unfair and Sh*t happens".

A traffic jam when you're already late A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic...dontcha think A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

Imagine that, meeting the man of your dreams and then realizing he's with someone else, doesn't that make you want to tear your hair out in frustration and just yell "It's unfair!!!!!!!!!", "Why me?". Doesn't that make you want to throw in the towel and just give up or cease breathing????

Seriously?

Don't mind me, I happen to have a flair for dishing out a great deal of theatrics, but there, I have successfully enumerated some typical reactions spawned from moments of frustration.

Now if you're thinking: "Okay I get the sh*t happens and life is unfair theory, what the heck is the point of all this ahem... crap?"

Good question, allow me to enlighten you.

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."

~Hubert Humphrey

Translation:

Life is about learning and the learning process does involve a great deal of crap thrown your way. Like: people losing their jobs, getting mugged, significant others cheat, people die, there's war, global warming, some nut is screaming about the end of the world....

Question: Are you dead?
If the answer is yes (may you rest in peace), but if the answer is no, then what's the big???

Here are possible solutions to the aforementioned life dramas:

People who lose their jobs - can find new employment, start a business, or take a much needed vacation.

Getting mugged- granted that the person survives the assault (if they are assaulted) they can report the incident to the police, take self-defense classes or never leave the confines of their homes.

Significant others cheat- Hmmm.... there's breaking up, divorce, couple's counseling, trial separation, reconciliation (with certain conditions involved).
alternative solutions:
for men who cheat- Castration
for women who cheat- uhhhh....chastity belt?

Dying people- well, there is no solution for that. We're not immortal you know. We just have to make the most of the time we have with the important people in our lives.

But here are some useful tips:
If you smoke (or know somebody who does) - Quit
Same goes for doing drugs, drinking, excessive unprotected fornication (yes, you can die from that- it's called AIDS)- and what have you.

War- "Can't we all just get along?"

Global Warming- I suggest you watch Al Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" and learn about what you can do to save Mother Earth.

Crazy guy- Send him to the looney bin OR consider the possibility that he/she may be right.

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
Mark Twain

The point is, we have to suffer or undergo a lot of rather difficult moments in order for us to learn.

Imagine a tree in the middle of a hill with a raging storm going on. No matter how the wind may threaten to uproot the tree, if the tree was planted well, it won't bend to the will of the tempest, for its roots are planted firmly on the ground. Its branches may sway or break off, its leaves may be torn off, but when the storm ends, the tree will always remain there...

Why? Why, indeed.

It's called faith, it's called hope, it's called, strength and if you have planted a great deal of all that in you plus a kick-ass attitude- you will become the resilient tree standing tall on the hill unafraid of life's many storms.

Great, I sound like a fortune cookie.

Truth be told, I am the most pessimistic person (perhaps not in the whole wide world), but it has been established that I am morbidly pessimistic. You see, there were certain moments in my life that molded me to become a misanthropic individual, that is incapable of shock on account of all the (excuse my french) merde life has thrown my way.



I can be like Squidward Tentacles (from Spongebob Squarepants). Unlike Spongebob who is bubbly and happy, I can be pretty unenthusiastic and grumpy like Squidward (sometimes). I have this odd belief that if good things happen to me, bad things are bound to follow.

It was an exhausting existence, always expecting the black cloud to show up at the start of my day, always whining about something- I basically sucked the joy out of every moment AND one day I realized my misfortunes were my fault.

Yes, you read that right, they were my fault, WHY?

Here's another fortune cookie type statement:

One should never leave the door open for problems to enter. You can overpower any problem as long as you do not allow any problem to overpower you. (HAHA take that! Confucius)

We are in charge of our lives are we not? Ergo, we have every right to take the reins of our life and enjoy the ride, bypassing any roadblocks along the way.
To change your life, to change the way you react to adversity- change your attitude.
It's that simple really - in the words of Lumiere (from Beauty and The Beast) You don't believe me? Ask the dishes.

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~Francesca Reigler

So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key. ~The Eagles, "Already Gone"

The point here people is, life may be unfair and Sh*t does happen, but you have the choice to live life and be positive about it and to flush the (crap) out of your life or step on it (haha) it's really your choice.

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~Robert Brault